Today, I had a very long, complicated talk with my girlfriend. Apparently, since she isn't religious, she doesn't have to give anyone Christmas presents, and yet expects everyone to give her some. She then told me what I should get her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, I've been considering breaking up with my girlfriend so I don't have to buy her a Christmas present. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She then proceeded to ask for all the gifts she gave me for Christmas back. FML
Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend is locked in the bathroom crying because I didn't buy her anything for Valentine's Day, even though Friday, at her suggestion, we agreed not to exchange gifts because both of our birthdays are a week away. FML
Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, my wife asked me to wrap an empty box to put under the Christmas tree. She didn't want her vlog followers to think she didn't get me any gifts. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Get her a bible :)
ChampionKO 6
a hard *******????
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Comments (309)
boycrazy30007 12
Dump the selfish bitch.
chall16thvet 0
Shoot her in the face
asktherunes 4
She's a keeper
Mickaylah 0
Lmfao
Zomg_Okay 27
"Not sure if stupid... or just trolling." Pity I can't post the image that goes with that, but ah well.
KiddNYC1O 22
What?
bizarre_ftw 22
Really great demotivational poster with a pic of the guy from futurama
chaos88 4
um, DTMFA
drivemysoul19 8
I believe a break up is the perfect gift.
I_See_Purple_Ppl 0
Buy her a pair of skates, put her on a hill, push her down the hill and tell her Merry Christmas. Once you do that leave as fast as you can!
cBlackout 13
Say that you're Buddhist, and have no possessions to give.
Kiloueka 3
inb4 "OMG ALL ATHEESTS ARE LYK THAT OMG DEVIL WORSHIPPURS -foams at the mouth-"
jehc922 3
Greedy b**ch