Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, while I was working at a call center, a customer was pranking me using an obviously fake Asian accent. He kept saying his name was “Phuck Mi”, his phone number was 666-3629 (as in "Sex sex sex free sex tonight") and making moaning noises and sexual phrases. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
AngrySailor 17
Business opportunity? The economy isn't so great out there...
cuppycakeslove 20
Just change your number :)
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Comments (84)
AngrySailor 17
Business opportunity? The economy isn't so great out there...
naxeeb 33
Unless OP is a guy. In which case, it might not be that successful a business, just saying..
vegeta77 4
And apparently she's already getting free advertisement.
AngrySailor 17
14- Possibly, the "sexy lady" part threw me off I guess...
outoftown 27
Since OP sounds like a sexy lady, he/she could do phone sex as a female.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
ya ***** yourself out coz your low on cash.. great plan.
AngrySailor 17
I never said anything of the sorts #47. However, one wouldn't have to ***** themselves out to make money here. He/she could do some hiring and be the pimp/madame. Or do a bait and switch and sell Amway or some obscure religious salvation to these lonely Johns?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
yes, true. but then again you'd still be in that dirty line of business.
venomousflower 24
And a good way to get STDs
sumbum95 15
Just take the compliment! You are a sexy lady! :D
stolencookie 17
Unless OP is a sexy man... Which would make this all the more hilarious.
sumbum95 15
Lol now I want to know if Op is a man or woman :)
cuppycakeslove 20
Just change your number :)
MrConcise 35
Change numbers? Embrace the opportunity, change careers! OP is now in possession of prime phone sex real estate. She shouldn't let her sexy voice and beckoning horny clients go to waste. Edit: Dammit, Perdix.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
OP should have gave us her number..we're all looking for a little fun too. Haha.
tragicnightmare 15
the "mother father gentlemens" will be sad though
MaFioso13 17
Time to change numbers
thanhmaaai 9
Well if you are currently in need of an additional income or a job, you know what to do! ;)
perdix 31
Charge a lot and call it an "escort service." With a few clients, you might never have to work vertically any more.
vegeta77 4
Yeah, just give him some outrageous price and see what happens. You ever made 1K in hour? 5K a night?
perdix 31
#24, Yes and Yes, but why do you ask?
vegeta77 4
I was talking to OP.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
perdix, have u really?? thats good money.
perdix 31
#49, yes, but the work was very grueling and still gives me bad flashbacks. I prefer the lower-paid normal work.
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
gosh now im wondering what u did. but at least your happier now ... I guess no amount of money is worth it if you're unhappy.
cstrife7 4
isnt the option of working vertically up to the client?
spartangrl 6
hitman? lol
Guy11 17
At least you won't have any problems finding a job if need be.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I smell aids... Koolaids
AngrySailor 17
I actually feel bad for you OP. My cell number is very close to the local welfare office number. Close enough they printed my number on their letterhead. I'm not being solicited for sex but it's still annoying!
nightbirdblue 27
My number is slightly different from a local bar/restaurant. We used to get tons of calls from people trying to order food, make reservations, plan wedding receptions, and look for their family members or friends. It almost completely stopped after we pretended to actually be the local restaurant. We took orders and told people to come get it in a half hour. It worked surprisingly well. Perhaps ^ you and OP should just pretend to be the right number till they get the hint.
AngrySailor 17
56- YES! That's a classic, I've done this and holy crap you should hear these people flip out when I tell them that the computers are down and cheques won't be issued at the end of the month!
sweet23_fml 11
My old phone no. was very close to a doctor's surgery... Let's just say hanging up on someone yelling at you for not knowing what's wrong with their child... Awkward.
kee_breezy32 34
I would just change my number and call it a day! (: