Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML
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Top comments
xoxilovesoccerxo 0
humiliating moment for you .
starile 20
Hell, I've done that at my kid's school performance of The Little Mermaid-- the Jager-induced crooning is just how we show our little darlings how proud we are!
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Comments (60)
RosiePatosie 0
LOL she wasn't kicked out?
Haha_oh_wait 4
Is their something called a good drunk then?
DocBastard 40
Yes. There is also something called "spelling correctly". Try it sometime.
cowboyy_fml 0
y'all should read my description especialy the girls;)
DocBastard 40
Yeah, I'm sure you're going to simply slay the ladies with that vivid, yet surely exaggerated, description. Good luck there, buckaroo.
CrabbyMcNasty 0
did you throw a brick at her?!
nybsucubos 5
Just look on the bright side, you now have an interesting story to tell everyone
jess6blondie9 3
why would they throw a brick at her? weird.
maybaybe 0
You look like Lindsey Reckis.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
Heey! You know Lindsey Reckis too?!?!!!!
maybaybe 0
Well I don't know her personally, but I watch her YouTube videos sometimes. :)
rattusrattus 19
Why would she even HAVE booze?!
starile 20
Because she is an adult over 21 years old, perhaps? No one said she was holding any sort of container of booze at the time, she was just drunk.
krystal2424 0
does anyone else think that would be freaking hilarious to see?!! lol
foxgirl715 0
hahaha yes! I def do! :)
sapphirenite 0
Now you know to never invite mom!
thememat 0
You know, whenever I read these things I always get the urge to write something obnoxiously random, so here goes: You know what your mom needs? Some goat's cheese served on the back of the goat it came from :) This wasn't an intelligent conversation to begin with.