Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML
Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
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Top comments
kyu_Q 19
You should recommend that Chewbacca start waxing
DocBastard 40
Beard - sexy Moustache - creepy Chest hair - manly Back hair - The most disgusting thing ever ew ew ew ew ew ew
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Comments (77)
blackonblight 33
Oh gods ick! There's fur and then there's fur. If your fingers got stuck, then it's obviously not clean or anything. Having body hair is fine, but you have to take care of it. If someone needs to brush your back, maybe consider removing the hair.
Merylwen 24
It doesn't have to be dirty for her fingers to get stuck in it. A lot of people have curly hair, so I it would easily get tangled. Also, I can't see how he can wax his back himself. And having it done regurlarly by a beautician would become very expensive, very quickly.
utrax 23
You should silently cut his backhair off.
PenguinBitch 44
Like that Spongebob episode.
dRpRdP 8
sometimes we hav to compromise wit situation to please our customers. . happens in almost every field
RedX1000FML 11
Have* With* Also nice punctuation on the capitals.
dRpRdP 8
Okay Noor *thumbs up*
dRpRdP 8
#24.. " Spelling Nazi spotted".. Any mistake in this sentence ?
LittleOldMe94 2
#32 Yes actually. First of all, what is ".."? It's not an ellipsis, which is "..." and it's not a full stop/period, yet you used it twice in one comment. Also, I assume you meant mistakes (plural), not mistake. And you don't need a space between your last word and your question mark. You know what they say, ask a silly question...
dRpRdP 8
#38 What do you do ? I see you have a lot of time there . Reading my whole comment with so much of patience . :)
LittleOldMe94 2
Aww thank you, I am pretty patient :) I'm actually a masseuse, funnily enough. Self-employed, so I do have quite a bit of time to myself, yeah. I see you're still making some of the mistakes I pointed out, so you obviously don't have the same patience to read through my comment. It's a shame, you could really learn something.
ThaPrelude 11
Oh that's just brutal! *gag*
RedX1000FML 11
Err OP, Which haor did you get your fingers caught in? Since it was so thick and curly....
dRpRdP 8
when did she say curly.. ? its just ur wild imagination. . lolz
RedX1000FML 11
#21 Welp guess I misread it. My bad.
RedX1000FML 11
Also *hair
dRpRdP 8
#23 also Well* in 22
Enslaved 38
No grammar Nazi here (I suck at spelling) but "welp" is correct. It's a slang word. I will say I'm amused that you're correcting someone's spelling. :P
dRpRdP 8
#36 I was not doing any spelling mistakes. wit for with. hav for have is what many people use while texting. And I know welp can be used for well it was just a sarcastic reply. Anyways thanks for being so nice.
RedX1000FML 11
#44, This is not instant messager. Although I don't have a big problem with slag like welp and other words, I kinda expect words to be fully typed, even if it ******* kills and hurts to add one little letter like you take out of yours.
RedX1000FML 11
#44 But eh. I have no choice how you do stuff.
dRpRdP 8
#45 Sorry Sir. I could not stand upto your expectations. But from now on I will work harder and I will surely fulfill all your dreams and make you the happiest person ever.
Nyx_fml 23
RedX1000FML and dRpRdP, you sound perfect for each other.
DocBastard 40
If you can all just shut the **** up and move on with your lives, I think everyone else would really ******* appreciate it. Great, thanks.
dRpRdP 8
#53 please mind your own business. Nobody is ******* disturbing you here. Have a nice day. Thanx.
vipirius 18
^^ found the hairy one ^^
Cazz91 21
OP: "Sir, may I also suggest a trimming for you today?"
Enslaved 38
Ew! I can just picture you singing "Baa, baa, black sheep, Have you any wool?" Instead of massage oil you need hair detangler! :P
blackonblight 33
The oil probably would do a decent job to detangle actually, I use just water on my head-hair when it gets bad, and finger combing when wet is always easier. Granted, back hair might be different than a foot and a half of hair on your head...
heyimeden 8
well thats disgusting.
lininnes 6
I hope it is a he, not she....
thatonetree 9
I guess you could say that's a... hairy situation