Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML
Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
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Top comments
kyu_Q 19
You should recommend that Chewbacca start waxing
DocBastard 40
Beard - sexy Moustache - creepy Chest hair - manly Back hair - The most disgusting thing ever ew ew ew ew ew ew
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Comments (77)
worldclassrager 41
I hope he comes back but you don't do the massage...hope your day goes better...
MyS3lf 24
Usually I have something snarky to say, but today all I can think to say is: Oh. My. GOD. I am so sorry :( That's just horrible.
jw90 18
Sasquatch needs to go to the barber.
jrock9093 18
Ask if he would like a wax or use heavy duty gloves and burn your hands after
underscoreguy 8
I'm cringing while reading your post. That guy needs some sheering and waxing.
mkcherry 14
If it's a private massage parlor that you own, you have the right to refuse clients, I would have. No amount of money in the world would convince me to have extended contact with someone's hairy back
ihpp 22
that's just nasty. kudos to you for handling it so well. I'd have freaked out.
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, that was a combover for his ass hair.
False_Stupidity 42
I read your comment while having breakfast... I'm not anymore. Thanks for that mental imagery. :-O =={#}
n00b4liciou5 10
Do you read Shakespeare, OP?
olpally 33
Chewbacca? Hahaha. Definitely fyl! That's ******* gross.