Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I volunteered at a 50 km trail race for charity and was at the service of a walker. It was fun until after the walk was completed, when he made me take off his boots and socks, and massage his big, super stinky, sweaty bare feet. His putrid feet were inches from my face the entire time. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
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Top comments
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
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Comments (188)
pancakes_n_syrup 0
Gross...that's why I will never be a masseuse
Iamnotmyself 17
The American in his natural habitat.
walshboy 0
the Brit camly sucking on the clit of the bitch called a queen
stephan18 23
Comment moderated.
yannitheswimmer 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
um..... so? take a shower and get over it God, it's not like you had a date that night, wow this is why we need a who gives a sh*t section, this is not a fml, but if it was ydi
Endless 0
shut up loser ppl shouldn't have foot fungus
ndvorsky 4
would you consider it an FML if you were forced to roll around in dog sh*T for an hour ( no rudeness intended)
Jessj958 19
It is a big deal because people should be more considerate about their hygiene especially when a stranger is gonna be touching their skin! That's just gross!
courtjester86 8
Wow.... It was probably you then
tehhotness 0
did you eat some?
Rockey 3
Post your resume on monster and stfu.
ilikerainbows 0
i think i just threw up a little in my mouth
barlessprison 16
It's okay 2 bucks is enough to get yourself some really nice smelling hand soap/ hand sanitizer.
jskibabe22 4
ditto
nom_nom_nom 0
#2, stfu.
MyzticHydra 0
what a cheap fat ass
Klu_fml 0
O MY GOD disgusting and guys all of you stfu this person had to go threw something that made me crap my pants, this is an FML
ExplodingToaster 6
*through
ammali 0
Oh my gosh, FYL indeed :o FUNGUS??? holy crap. I would die.