Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
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Top comments
cherrybollosm04 0
abort abort
Sun_Kissed18 25
Break up with her right there! Thats so unfair for her to just put all of that pressure on you
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Comments (338)
bobbysnickers 0
thats scary. get out the strait jacket pronto! she is a danger to herself and others.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
She's a loon. Eventually she will swing the other way and dump you and go **** someone else. Then you're off the hook!
Egotistical 0
I call bluff. If she wanted to kill herself then why wouldn't she have already. Grammar Nazis=FAIL
020266t 5
28: because they don't know when they should, thats were the term 'attempted suicide' comes from
steveakafranxy 7
#291 no, attempted suicide means they TRIED to commit suicide and failed
kchip89 0
Whether or not you want to dump her is your choice. However suicide is NOT a joking matter. Tell someone about what she said. She needs some sort of help. Even if she is just bluffing it's better to be safe than sorry.
SheriffBart 0
Suicide is a fantastic thing, as it disproportionately claims whiny teenage losers.
SaintJimmy 0
#49 screwed up my plan for pretending that there aren't actually people as disgusting and slimy as you in the world.
steveakafranxy 7
#49 you better be joking. you also better not be. either way, oo ooo ooo ooooooo oo oooooooo ooo oooooooooooo oooooooooooo oooooooooooo ooooooo Thank you, I am quite well known for my comment art.
laurendancer 0
No it doesnt
orchids_torturer 0
bitches be crazy...
cherry_blossom 0
Dang. That's emotional abuse buddy. Maybe you should dump her but try to be nice about it.
sublime93 0
This reminds me of that episode of family guy when Quagmire gets married.
Kervik 0
Ask her why she's cutting herself. It's ridiculous, and should definitely be stopped, for it shows her mental instability and 'depression'.
ditzykayla 0
wow....well maybe you could talk to her about it...and talk her into getting help for it. As long as you support her through it she'll probably be up to it.
plexico 4
If you marry her, you will also be responsible for her death. Only it'll take 50+ years and you with it.