Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML
Today, I was excited to sleep in on my day off. My girlfriend woke me up at 6 am. To bring up an argument from a week ago. An argument about salad dressing. FML
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
daftPunKt 4
Get your own life
2856B9BD 9
Omg, she EATS?! ..*sarcasm*
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Comments (155)
Trisha_aus 15
VB needs to learn to smile first
ELL10TT203 0
This trash can get out up here by FML but when I post things that are way better than this they reject it. BULLSHIT!
mfayem 15
I agree. I've submitted better fml's and been rejected too.
yeahithougtso 2
It's called keeping up on current events...
deransc 19
That in not a current event, and has absolutly nothing to do with your life
groupleader 7
You need to get out more, make some real friends. I am sort of surprised the other person hasn't also posted this same FML.
mfayem 15
This is bullshit! I've submitted way better FML's that have been rejected.
ksams5020 1
There are actually people out there that care about their bodies.
granolabutt8 7
If you're referring to only ever eating fruit salad and raw kale and never putting anything delicious in your mouth, please remove your head from your ass. "Ooh, ooh, I'm WAY too good for cake." I wish I could punch you through my computer. My biggest pet peeve EVER is when self-righteous wet blankets like you have to go around and insist that anything with sugar, oil, or carbs is basically a death smoothie. "How dare you deep-fry or sweeten anything!!!!! This is why our nation is fat!!" A personal message to all the health nuts out there, from all us normal people: SHUT. THE. ****. UP.
petraphotoDOTca 6
107 ...
UsagiArwen 23
#107 - Um, to someone who has Diabetes, things with a lot of carbs/sugars....pretty much are death smoothies. Source? I have type 2 Diabetes. Also My grandfather died before he was even 60 because he didn't take care of himself. Am I a health nut? No. Do I have to take care of my body or risk becoming blind, losing my legs, having heart disease, kidney disease, etcetera? Yes. So why don't you take your little pet peeve and follow your own advice at the end of your speech?
justlikeme79 9
Arwen, I don't think ksams was referring to people with medical problems who HAVE to be vigilant about what they eat. Let's all chill.
hhhwat 0
Yea it's bout time to replan your priorities
br0ccoli 15
Mew
TylerDirty 15
It's normal people talk about celebrities, even the unimportant things :p
mwmiller99 4
Fruit salad.....yummy yummy!
kenzie20 6
Goddamn you beat me to it!