Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML
Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML
Today, I was excited to sleep in on my day off. My girlfriend woke me up at 6 am. To bring up an argument from a week ago. An argument about salad dressing. FML
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, my mother had a Kitty Party (sort of), and I was in charge of the tea and snacks. I was so busy I didn't pay attention to their discussion. After everything was done, I heard my mother talking about my poop colour and how unhealthy it was. FML
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML
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Top comments
daftPunKt 4
Get your own life
2856B9BD 9
Omg, she EATS?! ..*sarcasm*
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Comments (155)
linkinpark98 24
How the heck did you find that out anyways? O_o
pexy_fml 16
better than nothing..
bittersweet18 6
I heard that on the radio today and did exactly the same thing! you are not alone.
br0ccoli 15
We can't always talk about how to save the world or the details of astrophysics. Cut yourself some slack. I talk about fashion and kardashians in my downtime. Even though people think they didn't deserve their initial push in the spotlight, they worked hard to make all their appearances and business deals. I'm not going to knock someone's hustle. Talk about what you want, OP. It's not like all people change the world with every sentence/conversation they have. If they think they do, they need to take the stick out of their pretentious asses. Have a fabulous day, everyone!
koolkat27 13
Kardashians got famous for Kim being a **** and having her sextape "leaked". They don't do anything except try to act intelligent and professional. These are the same people who had their pubes waxed on TV. Frankly, I don't see why people even watch that shit, is it that entertaining to watch dumb skanks?
br0ccoli 15
123- as dumb as you think they are, their tv shows, blogs, and businesses are not only 1) employing people, they are 2) making viewers spend money, stimulating the economy. Hate on them all you want, but they're doing their part AND they're most likely paying as much taxes (percentage-wise) as everyone else since they're probably not getting any LT capital gains or dividend income (or other tax loopholes), which is what a lot of "smart," "reputable" people are getting. Yes, those "smart & reputable" people get the economy going by making businesses but then they OUTSOURCE to save money and meet their revenue goals to make investors happy in order to get their annual 7-figure bonus, right? That's who you meant by "intelligent and professional," correct? The type that more people should be like?
perdix 31
And you missed the obvious issue of the imminent Spice Girls reunion!
Skittles_Rawr 8
Get a life dipshit
daisyismydog 3
A little harsh...
Skittles_Rawr 8
Maybe a little... Please get a life? :)
daisyismydog 3
I find it funny that you ask me to get a life, yet you take the time to comment back. It's okay though because it's clear how easily offended you were by my 3 worded comment and it's amusing.
zach8771 3
Then you found it necessary to post it here as it it matters
OfficeNinja 5
And you participated in that conversation, as opposed to saying "I don't give a squirt of rat piss". You get what you deserve.
CharliesCool2084 8
Oh dear.
ayyemmcee 1
To have a complete conversation about that, your life must be filled with all kinds of excitement! What's the next topic? Nick Cages' bowel movements?