Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML
Today, I was sick on an airplane. As we were taking off, I felt like I was ready to hurl. I was sitting in the window seat and was unable to get up in time to go to the bathroom so I was forced to grab the nearest container to puke in. It was a glass of juice belonging to the woman next to me. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML
Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML
Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML
Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML
Today, I took my toddler on a flight alone for the first time. I packed snacks, toys, everything. Thirty minutes after takeoff, he threw his juice straight onto my lap, then screamed for the exact snack I'd forgotten. The passenger next to me offered tissues and said, “First time?” I nodded, covered in sticky apple juice, for the next two hours. FML
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML
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Top comments
Skittles_Rawr 8
Instead if the vodka, just sit back and take deep breaths. I have a horrible fear of flying :(
schnouttz 3
vomiting on your lap must be left for intelligent people.
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Comments (123)
agalaz 5
yay first one!
The_Hitdude 12
You just opened pandora's box 1. May God have mercy on your soul...
Furrywhiplash 14
And now you get the inevitable downpour of red thumbs, which will then cause you to spiral out of control into depression. After hours of drowning your sorrows in alcohol, you will die from alcohol poisoning. Hope replying first was worth it...
demonkonga 5
At least You didnt do anything stupid and shit load of people do stupid shit when drinking vodka >_>
schnouttz 3
vomiting on your lap must be left for intelligent people.
iiTsAJ 5
All the normal people must vomit on their laps, I guess.
leogirl95 12
Haha, I'm totally thinking of Bridesmaids
KILLERTOAST13 4
Me to
nado13579 12
I'm terrified of planes too. :(
JocelynKaulitz 28
That must've burned your throat like a bitch.
pieceoschmidt 8
Like leave stupid shit comments such as yours?
Skittles_Rawr 8
Instead if the vodka, just sit back and take deep breaths. I have a horrible fear of flying :(
llamafish 25
I have a fear of encountering the reaper while on board a plane...
nollid7 5
Well since you and OP are afraid of flying, here's some advice. Stay the **** off planes lol. Take a boat, drive, or just stay home.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Or, how about therapy to conquer your fear of planes. Anything's possible.
Discombobulated9 12
22- That's all fair and well, but travelling to the other side of the world is a pretty hefty boat ride. I'm terrified of planes as well, but I'm not going to allow that fear to conquer me; I'll still travel by air. I just can't place my fear upon others since it was my own choice to be on the plane in the first place. I just remain wide-eyed, quiet and strapped to the seat throughout the entire journey.
Skittles_Rawr 8
22, I have to travel by plane. My dad works in a business where he has to travel to places fast, and I have to go with him. It's not that easy...
nofearjenshere 12
^ Your picture scares me. :o
Skittles_Rawr 8
Thank you ^u^ it's supposed to.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Quite frankly, yours does too.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
9 Listen to B.O.C. Don't fear the reaper.
Skittles_Rawr 8
Love that song :0
Goldenchest 14
I watched Final Desnation on a plane once... bad decision
justinrocks101 0
happened to me before. not a good experience. D:
JodeMiVida 13
Me too. Being afraid of planes is not the end of the world though. Unless you are going to the other side of the world there are other ways of getting there.
Lauren324 18
At least it was free booze!
olpally 33
Not for long though... Lol, fyl op, I don't like flying either :(
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Alchohol the air line
TheBonzaiGirl 0
Which airline is this? I would like to become a loyal customer ;)
runnamuk 6
Wow, reaching for alcohol because you were uncomfortable wasn't a good idea? Go figure.
MissHayleyJames 7
Don't give up on flying yet. See if you can get some Valliun or something for your next flight. Headphones help too once you're allowed to use them. Scary as they may be, they're still safer than driving.
Isoldael 27
So far, I've only seen people get more nervous about driving instead of less nervous about flying after that statement :p
iamBrody 1
IntI agree. My father takes something to calm him down while flying. And he flies weekly, has been for years. Also, it seems weird to me that the OP is just now flying for the first time (during adulthood). Traveling has been a big part of my upbringing. Is this common for people not to fly until later in their life?
catatonicsleep 17
It depends where you live and other methods of getting to foreign countries, I traveled a lot as a kid with out flying we went to italy, spain, switzerland, belgium, and holland (not in the same trip) by going through the euro tunnel then driving and stopping lots of nice places on the way, the trip was part of the holiday not just the way of getting there. My dad did not fly til he was 55, never needed to...
catatonicsleep 17
not just foreign countries, other places in general
deviable 9
Yeah, my family always drives places. I've always wanted to try flying at least once some day, but I love driving places.
MissHayleyJames 7
The first time my husband flew was when I took him home for Thanksgiving not long after we met. He was 22 and had never left the state before.
florido_fml 10
Light weight!
X_Codes 11
As a lightweight, it's not just that. Alcohol has up to three times the impact on your system at cruising altitude. As an example: two shots of rum on the ground only makes me frustratingly sleepy, but two shots of rum in the air and I'm out like a light.
SkoomaKi 28
Just close your eyes and listen to music instead of drinking.
perdix 31
Reminds me of my first time. The booze, the horror and the vomit. Only it wasn't my first time flying. Wait, where's the delete button. . . ?
tylersign 11
Hi, Perdix. You should put a comma before "and the vomit". Bye, Perdix. Grammar nazis... UNITE!
january12 0
It is perfectly acceptable to not use Oxford commas.
tylersign 11
Oh oh, I know. I didn't say "have to" ;) But, in my humble opinion, it sounds better when you do put them. :)
Plaasmaa 4
Good lord, the second coming of perdix!
perdix 31
What?!?!?! I haven't come the first time. I'm really good at holding back ;)