Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML
Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML
Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
Broke
Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML
Landlords gonna landlord
Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML
Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML
Fight Club
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Good initiative
Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML
Top comments
andycaliboy 0
show em what you learned in college and turn it into a pipe
greatnt249 0
Is that their way of joking about you becoming a teacher?
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Comments (219)
grazynaanka 0
the point is, he should be grateful that he got anything at all and his parents were there to witness his graduation. it is the norm to recieve graduation presents. however, the way the op worded this sounds like he wanted and expected something a lot more. in all reality, our parents either help us out with college or pay for it completely. student loans and things like that, are based off of parents and things like that. his gift is, his parents probably paid for him to go to college. his gift is, his parents cared enough to keep him on a straight track so he is able to go to college.
dan81892 2
i would rather have the fruit than the computer.
isantorin 0
was it a golden apple? Anyway, be happy they got you anything. I know my parents aren't going to.
ilovefmlife 0
oh anon you and your millions of fml's. This ones was funny. But not as funny as the other one's though.
waxstigmata 0
your parents are pretty awsome, stop complaining they want you to be healthy, haha
thedog 0
The way parents are now nowdays, if you say you want an apple they'll think your talking about the fruit.
AJComix 0
23, you're a moron. Apples have been right clicking for a decade now. And clearly, there was no NEED to right click before.
FMLFAN1 0
LOL! Maybe your parents are just trying to look out for you. You know how the saying goes: "an apple a day keeps the doctor away".
DreadHead 0
what the ****. at least you got something!
Icalasari 0
#14: So, into vore? Anyways, be grateful. Fruit is damned expensive up here!