Today, I got yelled at for 30 minutes while on a date for using the word "bitch." I used it to describe my friend's wife, who will also yell at you for 30 minutes for using a word she doesn't like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got yelled at for staying in my room too long; got yelled at for going out of my room; got yelled at for staying at a friend's place. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, I went on a date after months of rejection and loneliness. Everything was going great until my date argued with me over the correct way to pronounce my name. FML
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Top comments
gc212 2
I probably wouldn’t yell at you, but it would be a red flag and you definitely wouldn’t get another date from me if you describe women like that
Hempseed 27
How exactly did you even end up on the topic of your friends wife to begin with? Also, YDI, not the kinda shit that's appropriate to bring up while on a date anyway.
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Comments (19)
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
Are you on a date with your friends wife?
jbuckets_404 39
LMAO! Well done, my friend; well done aka kudos.
gc212 2
I probably wouldn’t yell at you, but it would be a red flag and you definitely wouldn’t get another date from me if you describe women like that
Sinshine 28
Not women. One specific woman. And if someone's a bitch, they're a bitch.
no0ne0890 29
I agree with sinshine on this one but I would add that even males can be bitches. if you being a bitch then you being a bitch...simple. hell i have a male friend who i always call a **** cuz he a **** period he can't deny it.
gc212 2
Well the difference is when a man is described as a bitch it’s usually jokingly and often because they’re gossiping about someone or something such as. When a woman is called a bitch it could be because of this or because she’s opinionated or something. Have you ever heard a man being called a bitch for having an opinion? Either way I think it’s an offensive word and there are better ways to describe a horrible person.
Hempseed 27
How exactly did you even end up on the topic of your friends wife to begin with? Also, YDI, not the kinda shit that's appropriate to bring up while on a date anyway.
bullsonyourface 20
whaddaàaaaa ****
BurnInDemonFire 39
Bitches bitching about a bitch saying "Bitch"? What a bitch...
CRC_101 31
I can swear like a sailor, but if I went on a date and they called someone a bitch, I agree that would be a big red flag and I wouldn't go out with them again. If you're that negative and swearing about people on a date, I can't imagine you're more pleasant as a significant other. YDI.
PenguinPal3017 19
At least you found out that she was a bitch on the first date.
jbuckets_404 39
OP, you're letting yourself be treated as a bitch for putting up with being yelled at for more than a minute or two. As for your friend's wife, either don't talk in her presence, use gestures/ sign-language instead, or just walk out at the first sign of her not-liking-a-word bitchiness (calling her out as a bitch for doing so is optional ;-). As the great relationship columnist Ann Landers would say, "Only YOU can let somebody walk all over you."
mssileas 25
That poor girl: *on a first date with you* You: *argues that you're justified in calling some other random woman she's never met a bitch* Also you: Why did that not go over well? Just know I'm laughing at you for 30 minutes now lmao
JackFaire 27
Seriously? That's like coming here posting a story about swearing in front of kids at a park and being mystified that their parents got mad at you. Everyone knows Bitch is a word that pisses most women off because of the negative connotations associated with it. You know I say someone's a shitty person. I say they're a shitty person. I don't use the word bitch unless I know the person is cool with it. I also don't swear in front of kids unless it's my kid or i know their parents are cool with it. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that the site editors made the title and you're not also one of those idiots that thinks free speech means you can say anything you want but no one else can.