Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML
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Top comments
saraitkddh 47
look at the bright side, you are not the one who is pregnant!
tony1891 22
out of all things to run out of. you run out of dog food. come on man.
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Comments (107)
Fas4wd 13
My wife's like that when un-pregnant. Shiiiiit!! I'm in trouble when she's preggo.
rachel8234 3
why even tell her that the dog food was out.... just go and get some more.
Sanosukeskitten 22
In the end it's all worth it :) Congrats on the new baby though! I know pregnancy can be crazy (JUST had my daughter 2 weeks ago) and now I realized just how worth it it was to go through the hormones, mood changes, crazy cravings, back pain and everything. I smile every time I see my daughter and I love her more and more each time. Remember, she only does this for at least 9 months (10 months from the beginning to the end actually) but in the end, you have a lifetime with your son or daughter :D
marcranger 29
40 weeks is actually closer to nine months than ten.
Sklinetobe88 11
Shouldve used protection idiot
sicksadworld1317 30
Believe it or not, some people want to have a baby. Idiot.
mattrd_fml 31
double wrap it next time. FYL
VampOfSavannah 31
That's never a good idea. The friction from the two condoms together will cause them to break.
BlueGummyBear929 6
youre the one who got her pregnant, you did this to yourself.
dwood08 10
Welcome to the good life my man! I just got out of the morning sickness now it's the constant crying from her saying she's a whale.
Murilirum 23
Stay strong brother!
Rowlandgirl 5
It will only get worse. Good luck!
speakfreely 21
How do I reply to a comment that someone makes on someone else's comment ? im new. Ps. What's OP mean