Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I went to a party. Although I wasn't drinking, I was still afraid the cops would bust me. Halfway through the party, the cops showed up. I tried to hop a fence, ripping my pants and cutting my leg in the meantime. It wasn't until was on the ground that I found out there was a gate. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, I had to run to put the trash out for the garbage truck, only I was so hungover, I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Haha you deserved that one. Maybe you should stop getting wasted? There's a thought.
ripresno 10
This is why alcohol is bad, kids
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Comments (81)
RareOlive 4
No way I could live next to a police officer
Enslaved 38
My neighbour is a police officer. He's cool as hell and tells the craziest stories. Also he has helped me and even my friends get out of tickets by calling his coworker and asking them to give us a break right-- as we're getting pulled over.
mbuck87 19
How does he know you're being pulled over?
Enslaved 38
I call my cop neighbour right on the spot. Where I live, it's not against the law to talk and drive at the same time. (I don't do it though) He'll ask me who the cop is and he'll call or radio him directly. Btw I'm a safe driver so it doesn't happen often. I wasn't expecting my new car's tail light to go out.
maz95 17
Well maybe having him as a neighbour will get you thinking twice next time before getting so wasted.
ArchaeologyDude1 5
Dumbass
kingsian 15
NO! it's not ever a "good" idea to jump anywhere naked!
poccocurantes 7
You're no fun.
The_F3rris 11
Pogo sticks + naked = the best.
BubbleGrunge 18
Well, being that he's your neighbor, he should have at least tried to get your drunk ass home without causing you legal trouble! Of course, naked humans on a trampoline might make for a good arrest story to the squad and is a very legitimate and understandable arrest!
Enslaved 38
I had a trampoline once. I had to take it down because it was a magnet to the kids in the neighbourhood. I'd come home from work to find 10 stranger's kids jumping on it. If any of them got hurt, I knew I'd end up in a lawsuit.
_wraith 15
It's a by-law where I live to have trampolines and pools locked up so kids can't sneak in at night and hurt/kill themselves, so we never really had that problem. Although I would be lying if I didn't say I played on it a few times while drinking... *ahem*
Enslaved 38
I have an 8foot privacy wooden fence with locks on my gates. They would all scale the fence using the nearby tree branches. :P It was fun watching them scatter when I showed up. And I agree-- jump on the trampoline with a buzz with more fun than I care to admit . Lol
DanielleinDC 34
Getting drunk is never a good idea in the first place. And if you have a crazy idea while you are drunk, try to have some sober friends around to stop you from going through with whatever craziness you're considering. YDI.
doodlecloud 27
Woah...nothing wrong with getting a little drunk. I hate drunk idiots more than most but even I get happy drunk...I just don't get stupid drunk.
zombieslayer83 19
You were drunk, have some fun. It's not like you hopped in the car and drove somewhere. You live once, and naked trampoline jumping is already crossed off my bucket list.
onorexveritas 24
I have no pity for you
poccocurantes 7
We really didn't need two buttons for this one.