Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I tried to strike up a conversation with someone in an elevator by commenting on the "beautiful view." We were in a windowless elevator, heading for the basement parking lot. I then had to try and appear less psychotic to avoid freaking them out even more. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML
Today, I was in an elevator with a coworker I barely know. My stomach thought that it was time to remind me I hadn’t eaten breakfast. It growled like a dying whale, and my coworker gave me a concerned look. To make it worse, the elevator got stuck for five minutes. We stood in awkward silence, with my stomach making noises the whole time. FML
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Top comments
makaramiracles 18
D'aww. 99.3% of my generation sucks, sorry OP.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Should've told her to go **** herself. And then you should've shoved the phone up her ass. :P Yeah she's young, I guess, but that doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit. If they don't get taught a lesson, they won't learn.
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Comments (315)
lilybert11 1
That girl has some problems
OneLessScarecrow 6
*sigh* generations these days...
worldclassrager 41
since your a guy I wouldn't think it would be such a huge insult but sperm whale is a bit much...and I could hear her saying (if she wasn't a bitch) when you got off OMG *insert name here* and then insult you...but teens (even though I am one) are always jerks there are very few good ones around...
melrose90210 10
I couldn't have said anything either. I would have been to busy beating the shit out of her
GoArmy57 7
I hate my generation. So much.
iloveshim 14
I don't care how old that little girl is, I woulda kicked her little bony ass
clairbear666 0
Omg lmao sorry bout tht
KiddNYC1O 22
Exactly. Pimp slap required.
DogsPaw 16
Supposed to call someone and say, "Hey what's up? Nah, just listening to this stupid spoiled brat show off to her friends... Yah her mom probably knows how much of a failure she is. I would hit her, but it would leave my hand smelling funny."
sunnyk 1
you are crazy for not saying any thing!!!. even I feel like putting her in her place by just reding this!!!