Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
mubaki 18
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade
yrkamurka 4
What what in the butt.
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Comments (203)
Mademoiselle_fml 34
OP! Go back and ask them to check your appendix (if you haven't already). I would have horrible tummy pains too, but it turns out my appendix was about to explode. Heh :p Took me a few times at the doctor and then once in the emergency room for them to figure it out. Even then they weren't too sure, they just said that it MIGHT be my appendix and that if it wasn't it didn't matter anyway cause, you know, you don't need your appendix. ._. Anywho you should go do that. It might be it. Good luck :3
mikeymayhem_87 15
That sucks you took the cold probe up the pooper OP!
snafu63 0
you're a very glass half empty kinda guy aren't you? you know what you did? revealed no other major problems, if there had been one you would've caught early.
iluvguineapigz 2
Hey, i had to get one and they found out i have crohns :P
Candice0687 0
No it wasn't for no reason at least you know that it's not your colon.
accionargles 5
I have a chronic illness that involves a yearly colonoscopy, sorry if I don't feel your pain. Be lucky your next one is when you are close to fifty. I am twenty and have had five so far. Just think, you are one step closer in fining the solution to your problem OP.
alycion 39
Medical testing sucks. Been stuck in guinea pig hell for 3 years trying to find the mystery ms like illness. Don't give up. Do get gallbladder checked. Everyone I know, including myself felt like death when they needed it removed.
emmyrae12845 0
I had to do the same tging but they also shoved a camera down my throught... Im 15.
Rsonicgamer_fml 6
You had a medical test and it turns out you're healthy? Poor thing....
Hannanichole 1
ive had that done and several other test, they have no idea what it is, just try to save some money and not do every test they sugest