Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
mubaki 18
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade
yrkamurka 4
What what in the butt.
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Comments (203)
jknice 0
My new chemotherapy makes me fart nasty farts. I went to a bar with my dad and some people bought us shots. I farted and everyone started freaking out about how bad it smelled and they all moved away from us. I was mortified.
jamis666 1
That happened to me too!!!!! Worst thing ever!
poohappens26 0
Get your prostate ? Mmm yummy bahahahahaha
poohappens26 0
Douche
rcgirl2 11
Better to be safe than sorry!
disney_blonde 16
You're upset you don't have colon cancer?
roskoe89 5
Would you rather have read that you had cancer? That would really have been FML
pyrozach911 2
Same happend here... Clean as a whistle
BloodFaerie 21
I feel ya... I have been X-rayed from here to kingdom come and had to get an CT scan that was a bad experience and constant blood tests.... and nothing to show for them except bills.... the doctor suggested an MRI next and I just glared at her before finally saying "I'd rather not..."
ShyAnn29 15
I was 13 when my colon shut down, due to colonic inertia and had to be removed, then at 16 my rectum shut down, due to rectal inertia and I had that removed, then at 18, I had to have an ileostomy that I still have, I also have inertia throughout my entire digestive tract, and I have chronic abdominal pain because of it. So be glad that you don't have what I have