No one special.
United States
Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail, because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML
CaptainByron
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
fox_at_heart
Philadelphia, United States
So close…
Today, I found out my father has been saving money to help me buy my first car. In the same conversation, I found out my mother, unbeknownst to my dad, used nearly all of the money to bail my drunken, deadbeat uncle out of jail for the fourth time a month ago. He's now back in prison. FML
hatetodisappoint
United States
Today, I called my very overprotective father, and he took the time to tell me how proud he was of me for finally finding a good and respectable boyfriend. And that he was sorry he misjudged. I was calling for bail money to get my "good, respectable" boyfriend out of jail. FML
~__~
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
chiktikka
United Kingdom
Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML
addie
United States
Bad boys bad boys
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
shroomda
United States
Far out, man
Today, I called my dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell phone number was. She then informed me that our dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML
Anonymous
Grandville, United States
Good to hear from you
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Please tell me you didn't do it...sounds like a deadbeat father to me, darling.
pdp_fml 21
I believe that your life sucks. We can't choose who our fathers are. I hope that your life works out.
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Comments (39)
Mirorbo 27
Please tell me you didn't do it...sounds like a deadbeat father to me, darling.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
bail him out he probably had a wild and crazy night and has great stories to tell and you can probably steal them and write a screenplay for the hangover 2: wheres my daddy but it won't do as well and then you'll feel like a failure and then realize that you have become your father and the circle of life is complete.
m0tl3ycru3qwr 0
he's still your father for better or for worse
tatababe 1
don't bail him out who cares let him rit
pdp_fml 21
I believe that your life sucks. We can't choose who our fathers are. I hope that your life works out.
jewban 3
I love your shirt :)
synb2st 0
some father he is = = you deserve better
mzeemzima 0
I say we kill bieber
Doortje 30
At least he called.. right? O wth, who am I kidding. Sorry OP, hope you didn't bail him out.
krez 20
I would hope my kid would bail me out of jail if i ever needed it. Then again, maybe there is more to your story that you left out.
hollee 0
right? I haven't heard from my dad in a while, but if he called me from jail, I'd definitely bail him out.
Vanilor_fml 5
what? you did not call him for six months too? :o
JonaDona 2
i wqs thinking the same thing....maybe he got drunk, got into a fight, stole some things and got caught just because he thought you didnt love him as a father and he got deppresed and life meant nothing to him anymore.....you should've called him
Cheekylozza 3
FHL :P he probably couldn't see you cause he was in jail so you should of visited him ;)
KingDingALing 9
One time, I was pissing on my neighbors front door, and then it froze a few hours later. They knew it was me because it wasn't the first time I did that. So Doc bailed me out and then we went to a party with KaySL, Sirin, Shrek, and Billy May's ghost. It was a total sausage fest. The last thing I remember was that I was drinking shots and then I passed out. I wonder why. My head hurts now and so does my butthole, and there's green finger prints on my legs. Crazy night.
Spongii101 12
WTF?
pyemeister23 1
Agreed :P
phear46 0
Ydi because phones work two ways. You can call him. Sucks he's in jail but maybe he went and did something dumb because he's so depressed his child has abandoned him. If the FML was to say he called needing bail then fyl, but you wanted to point out you haven't spoken for half a year so Ydi.
miraggg 1
well the whole point is to show that the dad only calls when he needs something ie getting bailed out
boatkicker 5
How do you know OP didn't call his/her father in that 6 months? My mother's been refusing my calls and emails for a while now, and I haven't spoken to her since September. It's not for lack of trying. At this point, if she called me up and asked me to bail her out, I'd be pretty angry.