Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
Shithappensgetov_fml 0
how the hell did that pop ur cherry!!! dillusional
kitsune3 20
Actually, it IS possible. The hymen, aka "cherry," can be torn rather easily. A lot of women end up tearing theirs in some way before they ever have sex for the first time.
AmandaH91 2
i got punched there once... same thing happened. the worst part is that the person who punched it is still my friend, and still tries to punch me.
0gypsy0soul0 13
Did it at least take you out to dinner first? Or lunch...
hateevryone 15
ouch.
hsRoseTyler5 14
haha assault AND rape
mastodon33metal 7
Did the shoe call back, or was it just a one night stand?
signuplogin 1
Win
XxTCONxX 0
Yum?
signuplogin 1
Your Viriginity takers = sexyyy
signuplogin 1
Correction cherry popper
xyz609 0
wow pathetic was it at least shaped like a dick