Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
Ninja skills
Today, my sister kicked me up the ass with such precision that I’m still bleeding from my asshole where the toe of her shoe tore the skin. FML
Toot toot
Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML
Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
A tale as old as time
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. All I got in return was rug burn and an infection. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Rough
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
Top comments
emerluvsu 6
That's the most original fml I've ever heard.
123zc1 3
Omg I almost died laughing
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Comments (571)
miss_mercy 15
i think that she is referring to the breaking of her hymen {if that is how you spell it}
LissaMccracken 23
Well, if it helps, my friend once told me she lost hers to a hairbrush. She was using it to pleasure herself... Feel better?
dutchgirrl 8
you can't lose your virginity to a shoe... you lose your virginity when you have sex, not when someone kicks you...
lolthatonedude 5
I dont know whether to laugh or cry...
CONNOR3697 4
its ok my cousin loust hers to a roap swing at the river
mooberry 5
How can you even tell?
cjwayy 22
You didn't have sex with the shoe. You're still a virgin. I broke my hymen falling off a bike when I was 8, but that doesn't mean I lost my virginity.
jenny92 7
unless the shoe went INTO your ******, your still a virgin.
mareehn 6
you don't actually "pop" anything while having sex for the first time. if you bleed you've done it wrong.
sayhisoph 26
You are still a Virgin.