Today, I got into a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. My face now looks like a real panda's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
Today, I am wearing a panda suit for the promotion of the restaurant I work at. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
I'm just trying to imagine a scenario in which someone would get into a fistfight with someone wearing a panda outfit. Your day sounds interesting. Please, do tell more about it.
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Did he know kung-fu?
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Comments (98)
notsoimportant 11
In the same places? Sorry OP, at least you've got a Halloween costume now.
Harshdfml 14
No. He has a busted mug. I'm guessing you take a beating instead of buying a Halloween costume.
notsoimportant 11
I hope OP'S okay, I do. I was just makin the jokess
Harshdfml 14
I laughed :D
tjv3 10
Well OP it looks like you are the idiot. Yep you are the idiot for getting your ass handed to you by a person in a panda suit
TheCanucklehead 22
#22 Yeah OP! It's your fault for not knowing that a man in a panda suit was going to attack you. Shame on you. Be more prepared next time, k?
Dawnstempest 17
@ 39 See, this is why I follow the martial arts tried and true belief in paranoia. Old woman? Well when she attacks me with an over head strike with her cane I will take it from her and beat her with it. School bus full of preschoolers armed with grenade launchers? 100 flying fists defense followed by leg sweep. I always am sure to stay at least three feet from corners so that those dastardly muggers which surround each one of them will never have a chance to grab me when I come around them. And if they do, well then that's why I have my EDC knife dipped in the blood of my enemies on me. One straight stab into the eye and... So needless to say, when a man in a panda suit gets anywhere within twenty two feet of me, I let out my loudest power yell and kung-fu flying kick that man in the face. Stories like this are why you can never let your guard down, EVER. Rest assured they are out there. And if you let your guard down for even a fraction of a second. They WILL GET YOU.
seeoseek 18
Haha that "complete idiot" whooped his ass!
AnthonyWheeler15 24
Did he know kung-fu?
immunetoinsanity 23
Probably not, pandas are usually pretty lazy. I'm sure he wouldn't put in that much effort. Unless he ran into Po that it.
caohm 18
everyone knows you don't mess with the dragon warrior.
Dawnstempest 17
@ 2, No, he was still on level zero.
aJaguarinRed 9
There is now a level 0... :-p
Nyx_fml 23
I'm just trying to imagine a scenario in which someone would get into a fistfight with someone wearing a panda outfit. Your day sounds interesting. Please, do tell more about it.
KushCrushin89 10
Exactly! Why get into a fight with someone in a costume that probably gives them some respectable armor?
JaegerMayCry 13
Maybe OP took his cookies and bamboo or his rice dumplings?
Kiki242 19
Kung fu panda?
The_Paladin 16
heh... kung fu panda.
narkill 13
Pandas don't put up with shit.
mcm_3 16
We now know this
BradTheBrony 19
And knowing is half the battle! (GI JOOOOE)
Ambient25 25
That dude was fighting for the pandas! Do you know how many pandas have been turned into soccer balls :(
Dawnstempest 17
Not enough... From the looks of things.
Zarcissa 34
This comment made my day :D I wish I could thumb you up more than once, #7.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
If you got beat up by a guy in a panda suit, you deserve it. I don't care what happened that caused the fight, if you lost, you deserve it. God damn if that isn't pathetic..
MrSassypants 34
What if it is some buff dude who knows karate and junk going around in a panda suit waiting to kick ass? It might sound improbable, but so does getting beat up by a guy in a panda suit.
Nyx_fml 23
Maybe that's his superhero costume.
MrSassypants 34
He is Buff Panda-Man. His catchphrase is "I am here to kick ass." You would think it would be something panda related, like for example "prepare to be bamboozled," or "I'm not going to be the only one with black eyes," or even "I'm black and white, but you're about to be black and blue," but it isn't those catchphrases because Buff Panda-Man is too busy kicking ass to come up with one.
kathryn14 19
You should know, don't **** with pandas
SmuggletheBudgie 15
espically sexual harrasment panda
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Sexual harassment panda! Holy shit! I think I may have to put that episode on netflix now. Wow.. You just kick started my memory with that. Haha.. Oh god, I have to thank you for that.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
has to be one of my favourite episodes :P
squidgy787 22
Who lives in the east 'neath a willow tree? Sexual harassment panda
EvilLittleMan 23
Wow... Just wow.