Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
Today, I got into a fight with a lawn chair. It won. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
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Top comments
bigAC 6
what
TheDrudgeChild 4
Apparently he tried to swat a wasp away and got stung. He worded it like an idiot though.
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Comments (154)
Redoxx_fml 22
Need a moment?
GhettoXmuffin 7
.. Chew it over with twix..
Kyot3 7
I need a moment to figure out how this MLIA piece of shit got past the mods.
absolutegrrr 7
Anybody else not actually get this fml? Or should I hang my head in shame :(
stevenJB 25
Your pic so matches your comment and the FML. Bravo!
eigelste 0
Worst first comment possible
Akai_fml 4
I did Nazi that coming.
gojira666 7
In lay-person terms...i swatted at a wasp but it stung me anyways.
X_Codes 11
@37: Yes, but that's totally mundane and not worthy of an FML. Oh wait, this really isn't worthy of an FML.
puppytaco64 8
Flawless victory.
unitedfan11 0
YDI. Why did you try to swat a wasp? That gives you a greater chance of being stung and according to your "battle", that's exactly what happened.
Jakesterk96 8
I like how 1's picture fits his comment perfectly.
n_epic_fail 14
Come on OP, we all know you can't "go ninja" on a wasp. It's all about your samurai skills.
Arachu 5
Let me gestopo you there.. These holocaust references are taking me out of Mein Kampfort zone, Ann Frankly, I find them a little offensive..
tatababe 1
Your ninja skills have been dishonored
nic7973 23
NFI
X_Codes 11
Excuse me, mods, for not sharing your sense of humor. A guy tried to swat a wasp and got stung. It kinda sucks for him, but he should have known better, and it's really not funny, even if you call the wasp a Nazi helicopter and equate aimless-girly-flailing to ninja-like skills.
hockeydominatorc 0
Worst 21 comment possible
bigAC 6
what
DontModMeDammit 10
Real ninjas use Katanas...
TheDrudgeChild 4
Apparently he tried to swat a wasp away and got stung. He worded it like an idiot though.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I thought this FML was worded amazingly! First FML to actually make me laugh really hard in a while.
LunaDragon 10
53 Is right, its worded perfectly, and its funny. I mean everyone gets stung by a wasp or bee at sometime, and if Op had just said "Today, I got stung by a wasp, fml", everyone would be like, SOooo.... big ****** whop dee-do.
xcarxcrashx 9
To be honest the whole post already makes me feel whoop dee ******* doo. You swat at a wasp you get stung, I doubt he had real ninja skills. Tried too hard imo.
Pentium_4 27
94 - it's still funny picturing someone trying to "fist fight" with a wasp
buck33 14
53 - your sense of humor sucks then.
hhart90207 0
P.
bringingUGLYback 4
I speak for everyone when i say, you need to man up.
ankoku 2
Seriously!! And where was the op's sword during all of this!?
bizarre_ftw 22
Forget sword, I wanted to hear of the death match with flaming arrows!!
Snafuusmc 12
Round Two START!
kotabones 0
Pack some heat! Aka raid wasp and hornet
kile88 2
Finish him!!!
kamikrazy 6
What just happened?
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
9999!
muzy 23
nein... just nein ....
Felix_Felicis15 8
Oh yes yes yes yes!
shanemaximo 7
You should have used your ninja skills to follow it back to the nest, get inside and wait for it to let its guard down. Then, SNEAK ATTACK!!!
kbtoyz69 9
That wasp's powers over 9000!!!!!!
eigelste 0
Then your not a real Ninja, better luck next time
Cryptic_Equinox 0
You're* ....it was bugging me..
urdirtyolduncle 15
^ Nazi bee
bizarre_ftw 22
40 - Your dragon pulled Santa sleigh is making the moon appear to be giving a "wtf" face (just thought I'd be capt obvious and mention it)
Sumo69 9
First of all Chuck Noris is it only thing that can put a beat down on a ninja. You have nanny like skills
ClaremoreZebra 8
You misspelled his name..
BarDownDaily 12
11 is now dead.
Sumo69 9
He came over to kick my ass saw my pet wasp and decided to change the spelling of his name.
cosmosis 12
Pffft. Chuck Norris would beat the shit out of your pet wasp. I hear he can move mountains with a single round-house kick, and has reflexes so sharp he can catch bullets with his teeth! If you have a pet wasp. Its time for a new pet
Sumo69 9
Yeah he's pretty cool we had a couple of beers and went home
bizarre_ftw 22
It's like with "god" in that one religious, overly relied on book. They have to spell it G_d because to write his name would be blasphemy
cosmosis 12
No. Its nothing like that at all....
SpruceDread4578 13
85- As much as I would agree with you, (fellow atheist), this was an incorrect time :p Regardless...I still agree.
DrMime 10
You lost in a fist fight with a wasp? Why would you use your closed fists?!? Did you think it would kill it even if you hit?? When dealing with those Germans you got to use their own weapons against them! Try hanging a poisonous wasp trap next time.
BarDownDaily 12
12- I can't speak for OP, but I'm sure if they connected with a solid punch on a wasp that the wasp would indeed die.
t765234 10
49-Have you ever killed an insect before? A punch will not do, they can survive heavy shock due to their biological composition.
InDenial 6
I have also found out myself that insects dont take nerf bullets to the face very well!
purplemnm 9
I've punched a wasp before, it doesn't kill them, trust me.