Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late. He said, "Oh, something came up." I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
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Top comments
FUUUandyourmom 16
Was he drunk?
Poetaster 10
Daddy needs some therapy
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Comments (167)
chouter21 10
Vacuuming? Lol wow
ikickgingers 15
Jäger is a bitch.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Actually it's the bomb. JÄGERBOMB.
pottymouthpanda 0
touchay, dad (:
japtch 15
Not sure if trolling or just dumb.
alival 12
I think he's already lost his marbles
volleyball332 0
Yes because the lawn is very dirty...?
Savra_fml 17
Maybe he didn't understand when your mum told him to clean up the yard. At least he tried.
Angel_Tigeress 5
I wonder why you got thumbed down. I though this was hilarious. I'm afraid to ask what he does when she asks him to manscape ;)
G97Alex 21
Cocaine is a... No, not gonna say it.
CuteGinger 2
..helluva drug. ;D I had to.
MC25sec 0
Maybe he was vacuuming up the leaves ever think of that
clay12321 0
Exactly what i was thinking, i was actually about to comment that but then i saw that you had ninja'd me
LaDeFreakinDa 4
37th? no? ok....
DocBastard 40
MC25sec has it exactly right. Are the rest of you (including OP) completely ******* stupid? It's Autumn in Canada, and going over the lawn with a lawnmower is much easier than raking up all the leaves. Of course, that doesn't explain why he was doing it at night... Common sense is obviously not very common anymore.
Zomg_Okay 27
Technically speaking, there's no such thing as common sense. If it was common, we'd all have it. Some people are clearly lacking it, so it isn't common sense.
stacianichole 2
That's what I was thinking. Some mowers have bags on them to catch clippings.
KiddNYC1O 22
Thanks to MC25sec...
mandaboo 8
My dad was doing that one day. I'll never forget my mom's reaction. "...oh my God, your father is vacuuming the lawn. VACUUMING THE LAWN!" What a strange sentence.
SirSquishyPants 1
You dad ever vacuum up any crotchless undies?
WhySoMad 0
Cool story.
KiddNYC1O 22
,bro.*
False_Stupidity 42
Why? Did you lose some near the OP's house #65?