Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late. He said, "Oh, something came up." I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
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Top comments
FUUUandyourmom 16
Was he drunk?
Poetaster 10
Daddy needs some therapy
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Comments (167)
Rachel1987 4
When the leaves fall in autumn it's normal to vacuum the leaves up to keep the lawn neat. Stop eating paint chips kids.
badgirl90987 9
It's weird that he's doing that at night but he means he's not cutting the grass, he's picking up the leaves with the lawn mower. Lots of people do that.
freakbook 1
At least he's doing chores
benni74 0
lost his balls maybe
TheSuperSpicer 6
Wait? You're not suppose to vacuum the lawn? Looks like I've been doing everything wrong.. No wonder walking the fish always turned out badly..
dopeyyjayy 0
Wait...don't we all vacum our lawns.?
BlAzEtHiS 0
You may want to consider having him institutionalize for your safety and the safety of those around him.
misspimpins69 0
Whoa at least your dad vacums :D
Meme1988 18
Awesome! And drunk ofcourse ;)
BitterRoses17 4
thats great