Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
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Top comments
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
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Comments (78)
Madrias 36
Sounds like you need a trip to the toy store. Get a cap gun and several rings of caps and just unload randomly. Maybe then he'll know the difference in sound volume between poking holes in plastic and explosions.
COAWD 5
Had a neighbor like this once. Called the cops on us for "clapping." The cops were not amused. Needless to say, we made it a point to stomp around as much as possible during normal hours just to piss on their cereal.
Ryodin 11
The kind of person who needs to actually hear the real thing once. It is hard to mistake a 40 decibel pop for a 140 decibel gunshot.
darkfireflame 15
That's a dick move on his part. Hope you got that sorted with the cops and they fined his ass for abuse of emergency services.
Echosnow 15
I am soo glad I don't have neighbors!!!!
cwl727 33
How loud could that sound have been for him to hear it.
Madrias 36
One simple word, so much fun: Popcorn.
HalfLit 17
My neighbor told my landlord I was "smoking drugs" after I had burned some chicken nuggets late at night.