Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
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Top comments
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
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Comments (78)
Yorih17 22
jesus sounds like the op needs to get a life! unlucky op! I guess every neighbourhood has those neighbours, you're just unlucky enough to be living next to them!
tygerarmy 35
OP, if it happens again get your neighbor in trouble for filing a false police report.
juggalospyder 3
I would blast the stadium scene of the movie the town next time. Let him really hear gun shots
buckdharma 38
Admit it op. You killed that Hungry Man, didn't you?
JoLekkaDing 7
Lol!!! Has he been watching the Oscar Pistorius case?
nachosbabygurl 9
your apartment must have paper thin walls or your neighbor has no life
pix3ld3ath 3
Dat name
FayeLemire95 12
If he was smart, he would try & take a closer look, then maybe try and call the cops
LumpLegacy 15
I have one of these neighbors. we had the cops called on us at 4 in the morning because our music was to loud. it was off a cell phone and it was playing may day parade. I feel your pain.
snegec 7
I don't see why him calling the cops is your problem. Just inform the officers next time about "The boy who cried wolf" too many times.