Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (78)
NineeCat 32
Show him the difference:]
tranced_ 45
such neighbour, much hate, wow.
flobbityfloob 3
Were you making holes in it by shooting it?
MLPcuzYOLO 5
You poke holes so loudly, your neighbor confused it with gunfire? You, mister, must be an incredible forker!
FMLBOY1012 4
What crawled up his ass and died
tehdarkness 21
God I wish I could afford to live in a real house. Condo living is challenging. I have never had something that audacious happen though.
alicat13 12
Too much Oscar Pistorius :-)
TheHarvardian 25
I know where you're coming from, OP. My downstairs neighbor is like that. One night, around 8, she started yelling and banging on her ceiling because I tapped a scrub brush against a plastic bucket. Crazy neighbors are the worst. We had the cops called on us one night because we were having a "rowdy party". The cops showed up, and we were sitting there, playing Uno, no one was drinking, and no one was even talking loudly. The cops pretty much just laughed and left.
tfowl61692 14
what happened? follow up?
breakinlegs 19
do u live in a teepee? I think u are making up an excuse for what your neighbor hear...walls r not that thin
kawaiichick 9
Well, some walls are in fact that thin. Especially if a couple is having a romp in the bedroom. There are many listed online, you'll find them.