Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I got yelled at by my mother for making noise after midnight. What was the noise? The microwave as I made something to eat. I work the night shift and had just come home from work, and I'm the only person in this house with a job. Apparently, me not paying her overdue bills cancels that out. FML
Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML
Today, I tried to make popcorn in the microwave but forgot to remove the plastic wrapper. The kitchen filled with smoke, the fire alarm went off and my neighbors came knocking to see if I was alright. When they asked what caused it, I had to admit that it was “Erm… popcorn.” FML
Today, after spending an exhausting amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, even to the point of catching the microwave before it went off, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang. FML
Today, I tried to warm soup in a travel mug. I forgot to take the metal spoon out. The microwave lit up like a firework display, and I screamed so loudly that my neighbor knocked on my door to check if I was alive. FML
Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML
Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
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Top comments
leeebeeeee18 20
Sounds like your neighbor needs to get laid.
Zeishah 26
Your neighbour is such a drama queen :/ hope the cops warned him for the unnecessary false alarm!
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Comments (78)
thatkidmal 15
This is highly confusing, those sound nothing alike
MLPcuzYOLO 5
Aw, he's just lonely and wanted some attention. Next time, invite him over for a microwave meal and you two can have a fun "shoot-out" preparing them!
TheRoyalBattler 5
POPCORN TIME!!!
stryder9090 28
at least you can shoot a gun in your apt and blame it on a microwave meal now
SouthernLady12 13
Why would anyone want to shoot a gun in an apartment?
rgearon 8
It was a joke, relax.
SouthernLady12 13
It's a bad joke maybe you should hook up with the girl who has fun with fake pregnancies.
stryder9090 28
APARTMENT POP
cockymofo 10
Southern lady 12 sounds like she has an awesome personality and great sense of humor. I wonder if there's a lucky Mr. Southern lady 12 out there. I'll bet he could write a book of fml'S
skittyskatbrat 19
Oooooh, you have one of THOSE neighbors. Keep making him look like a fool; sounds like he'll call the cops on just about anything. So pop microwave dinners with a fork, start a movie right when someone is screaming, pop a plastic bag (he thought the microwave dinner was loud???), etc. Eventually the cops will quit responding to the jackass and possibly arrest him for abuse of 911. A one-time event isn't a big deal, everyone makes mistakes. But if he's really an ass, you have someone to mess with ;)
domolovesyoshi 33
but then he'll get done for noise polution
Yorih17 22
#37 making dinner via the microwave and popping a bag is far from noise pollution
ZombieSazza 34
You are a genius!!
4funzies 13
He's batshit cray
alphabetta 23
That's an insult to people who actually are batshit crazy.
JaneChemi_fml 21
no, bat shit crazy is stabbing your ex's hamster with a fork. (10 interwebs if you remember that fml)
doglover100 29
He needs a hobby.
popeizzy 9
how hard were you poking holes?
Neesalun 20
I was whispering in my driveway while attempting to remove my tire from the car since it went flat. Wasn't even 9pm. Noise curfew isn't until 11pm. No clanging of metal. Just whispering. Cops were called for whispering. I've lived here 20yrs so it's not like I'm new and I recognizable.
AUShano 15
Better not twist a sheet of bubble wrap; might sound like automatic fire...
Yorih17 22
if he did that his neighbour might try get swat teams through his door!