Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
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Top comments
wildpepper 5
maybe you should lock the door next time she leaves the house to check the mail and then laugh and go back to whatever you were doing when she wants back in.
UsernameHere015 0
break in and beat the bitch ass. Prob solved.
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Comments (236)
CitrusGirl 0
tell you're dad! He must know that the new wife is a bitch!
CrosbyBlows 0
*your
omega802 0
hhaha I doo that to my sis I pretend noones home XD
everydayisfml07 3
no one? o.O
CrimsonWolf1294 0
*no ones
SeanFredrick 3
* no one's
Yarrachel 16
Peter Noone the musician?
foxy1222 0
when tommarow comes and your stepmoms not their say she had a little accident hehe :)
Mirorbo 27
Just because someone has a job, darling, doesn't mean they're necessarily financially stable, nor legal adults. Houses are difficult to finance on minimum wage. Even some of the crappiest apartments are pricey!
Jessi_the_sexii 0
I don't think she likes you
howitsdone 0
I've seen some beautiful women but dayum you're gorgeous! Just sayin' OP: she must not like you very much
howitsdone 0
what for complimenting someone's looks? Isn't that a nice thing to do?
jacksters 0
Because when I was 17 and had a job, I could get my own house. ???
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Wooow, OP. = Your stepmom is a bitch. Maybe you could leave a window unlocked in case that happens again, well depending on if you trust your neighborhood or not.
ukiboy77 0
how can you say that she's a bitxh if you don't even know here?? maybe the op kept coming home late drunk and she got annoyed of her so she locked the door. I highly doubt that her stepmom would have a blast locking doors and then hear banging on the doors
ukiboy77 0
her**
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Well, for one I don't live to please you or say what you think should be said. And in all honesty, if she's done that five times THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED RUDE which ultimately leads me to believe that yes she is and I quote 'A BITCH'. -.- And you need to butt out of my opinion because this isn't the site to be trying to pick a stupid fight with a sixteen year old, you retard. >.< Not only that, but go back a freaking read OP's post. She said that she was coming home from WORK not from a night out drinking. Get your facts straight next time.
Troll_Hater 0
Calm the **** down.
lifesluck 0
my step mom did the same to me until i was 16. Then she got serious. I wasn't allowed back in the house that day.... or ever again.
lovelyred 0
break a window.
eggjuggler 0
Yeah i'm generally not one for vandalism... but breaking a window, climbing inside, and then casually making a snack and watching some tv seems like the best solution. When she asks why the hell you broke the window, tell her that you just wanted to be able to laugh along with her. =)
Bliitz1 0
I would have bitched about it to her every single time and would never give it a rest. lol. Some step mothers are terrible. =/ & I agree with what #19 said. >:D
dubstep87 0
tell Ur dad in font of her tell him he needs to be a father before a man to his bitch ass gf and tell her to back the **** up!