Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
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Top comments
wildpepper 5
maybe you should lock the door next time she leaves the house to check the mail and then laugh and go back to whatever you were doing when she wants back in.
UsernameHere015 0
break in and beat the bitch ass. Prob solved.
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Comments (236)
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
Ignorant ******* bitch, bolt her ******* pussy up than what nigga
Elicy1984 0
break a window.
cupsie89 0
Your dad married a really nice lady.
thirteen13146 0
get I key to the house.
Julia03_fml 0
All you have to do is return the favor, you have all the reason to. Pull mean pranks and have fun with it.
vaderspawn 0
beat her...
SuicideSaint_fml 0
Have you thought of talking to your Dad? Or is he weak and would do anything to appease the bitch (which she is)? Prank her back.
Phillyvinilli 0
She sounds like a real bitch. If you send me her phone number I promise I will call her from my country just to tell her she is a real bitch
KingZaneXII 6
Nice 45 But I do concur!
KingAdrock 16
dead·bolt –noun a lock bolt that is moved into position by the turning of a knob or key rather than by spring action. OP deserves it for not having a key.