Anonymous
Bloomington, United States
Good boy
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML
shadow
Osceola, United States
Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML
emancipate me
Knoxville, United States
Unstable
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Anonymous
Warren, United States
I don't know, leave me alone
Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
Sky
Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML
mama bear
Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
FatalxDesire599
United States
Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML
Becca
Portland, United States
Call the cops
Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML
gothchick201013
Dayton, United States
Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML
Anonymous
Duns, United Kingdom
Get me out
Today, I spent half-an-hour trapped inside my dog's crate. The door locked behind me as I squeezed myself inside to stroke her. After bellowing at my family in the garden for what felt like an eternity, they came through just to laugh and take pictures. FML
Top comments
Hunthas 17
Silly mothers! everyone knows dogs only speak french
teentee401 37
Error 404: Pun not found
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Comments (70)
Hunthas 17
m
pratikp03 22
well...what did the talk about?
polarbearpiss 15
bad pun
teentee401 37
Error 404: Pun not found
mif_fml 27
I don't think he was trying for pun.. If he did he would have said "what did they bark about?" or something like that.
Nathan_h24 17
I recommend you invest in a dictionary #12
cinskeep43 15
plot twist- dog is the name of her vibrator
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
What really matters is that OPs mom needs mental help
Hunthas 17
Silly mothers! everyone knows dogs only speak french
sayyestothedress 24
Oh, I thought it was Spanish! No wonder my dog wouldn't understand me!
PyroSam 21
They write in German, you know.
hope1103 20
I'm sorry OP that sounds like a ruff situation
jad0016 12
Being locked out of the house is definitely something to bark about
so_smooth 13
And you have the best comment ever
TheOrangeProon 13
If only my fiancée was as easy to please as you, 36.
Rainhawk94 27
Poor dog must be having a ruff time
managator 5
He wanted the bitch all to him self.
siljeeehaa 10
Not sure if you mean the dog or the mother
middlenamefrank 8
Look....it's her home, and I'm guessing you're never giving her any time in the house by herself. People need alone time sometimes, especially in their own home. Get a job, find a friend to do things with, or just go down to the dock and watch the boats for a while. I've had roommates who never, ever give me any time to myself in my own home, and it makes me crazy.
Rainhawk94 27
The escalated quickly
ksuth 25
Off topic, but if they're your roommates and contribute to household finances wouldn't it be their home too...?
Ltsdragons 19
Yeah but... Being OP's mother, you can't really just kick out your child to have some time to yourself. I understand it's her house, but it's also the house OP is and was raised in. And just leaving your child outside because you wanted time to yourself doesn't really have much of a good ring to it
junkman6 22
Peanut butter talk?
tournamentdecide 33
If you ain't talkin peanut butter I don't wanna talk.
joe3_fml 15
Time for some counselling and some priorities to be straightened out.
tony1891 22
and i thought dog was mans best friend.