Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, while on a road trip, I went to the bathroom at a gas station and locked the door. Turns out the lock was automatic and I'd actually unlocked it. My mom walked in on me, but instead of apologizing and leaving, she yelled at me in the middle of the gas station. FML
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML
Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
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Top comments
wildpepper 5
maybe you should lock the door next time she leaves the house to check the mail and then laugh and go back to whatever you were doing when she wants back in.
UsernameHere015 0
break in and beat the bitch ass. Prob solved.
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Comments (236)
fmlisforlols 0
Set her on fire.
boricuabebe 0
ur stepmom is a bitch
rebelharmony 0
op, gotta step up and show her who's boss
RedInThaHead 0
lol I like her already
luckshotpro 12
once you get inside, bust out a little smackabitch power
nuggetFAIL 0
see a flamethrower would solve this...
Tommy9537 0
Your stepmom is a dick
wellinever 5
Keep phoning - 2 rings and then hang up. Repeat every few minutes until she lets you in. If she takes the phone off the hook, then throw rocks through the windows every five minutes - a different window each time until she gets the message. Let your Dad know why and tell him he has to pay for the repairs. You won't have this problem for long. Of course, you might be living somewhere else by then.
lawlatyourfml 0
you should've busted her window in with a rock. i guarantee she wouldn't do it again after that. make the bitch pay for the window replacement too.
SupermanXL 3
seriously, if its the fifth time, how is this an FML? either you should have posted the first time, or concede that this is routine for you and not an individual FML moment.