Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
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Top comments
dissapointed101 4
darren would be getting an ass whoopin and he better start cleaning.
greenbox 0
the first that I do when my property gets raped is post on fml. not call the police, but share my story with the Internet.
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Comments (151)
MrJesus_fml 0
looks like its time to move
miume16 0
hmm this seems to happen quite a lot, doesnt it?
tacocannon99 5
Looks like someone's anally targeting Darren!
smartalek 2
tell Darren, and make him pay for the damages.
ohshit1 0
hahahhahahahhaha!
Dead_Master 0
Dam op that sucks for you, Darren's ass got lucky Darren likes to suck lol.
thePr3da1i3nrulz 4
Wow thats gotta suck.
angryyute 4
WOW!!!
lmaoatall 6
be kind and return darrens mail to him. I don't care how you do it. place it in his hands. throw it at him. shove it in his face, but please do it! it's the least you could do for all the trouble he had caused you.
moo117 0
call the popos