Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
Spider pig, spider pig......
redbluegreen 41
Unless Harry Potter attends.
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Comments (110)
Xavi89 0
lol
QwertyMcNugget 0
Best. FML. Yet.
TheWhiteDemon 0
swine flew hits again
averinoelle 0
Oh that's not the most random thing to happen..
beeship321 5
What are your dogs names?
Timmy_Boy 17
would be even funnier if you were a cop, pig hitting a 'pig' haha
lil_ham1644 29
Not all cops are pigs.
reddwarf_fml 0
salami's have wires?
nond2nv 4
I'm confused, too.
bebe088 0
the things that hold them together at the ends.
scj 0
It's still good! it's still good!
AG_Lining 0
That's sucks, OP. Sometimes shit happens and the only proper response is to shrug and move on.
AG_Lining 0
57: Muslims actually believe inparts of the Torah and the Engel (New Testament). In other words, the same reason Jews avoid pork is the same reasons Muslims do. Hindus are those who believe cows are sacred. In the future, if you hear something contrary to what you think you believe, look it up! :)