Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
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Top comments
SirWhatsHisFace 0
Spider pig, spider pig......
redbluegreen 41
Unless Harry Potter attends.
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Comments (110)
Saluton 18
This is horrendous. This is so frickin' humiliating to be scarred by a flying hunk of pig that I would commit suicide right then and there.
Ancarnia 0
sue them for assault with a pork product.
eller13469 2
so pigs can fly
driftability 0
Should have taken the license numbers, hunt them down and dump pig blood all over their car. If blood isn't available use veg oil. Or you could just spend you time on something more constructive. :D
partychix246 0
omg ****
Niaa_fml 0
Salami is not pig, it's made from donkey. o.O
KidLightning 2
HAHAHA. This made me laugh SO hard that I couldn't even tell the person I was Skyping what it was.
person4 1
when I read this I thought Glamour Kills.
Ellistrae 0
You got popped by some pig in a drive-by porking!! :)
usedpunkgurl 0
hilarious!
wish369 0
just look on the bright side, awesome battle scars! :D