Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML
Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I got a Facebook friend request from an ex-schoolmate from my high school. He was the same piece of shit who used to bully me at the time. He's now a psychologist. I guess my life was meant to be bollocks. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML
Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
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Top comments
Sweetheart34 2
be flattered! at least you have someone. he might be your boss some day...
Pelreskovich 11
That's an honor. Nerds united!
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Comments (478)
Bigboned38 0
Nerds always make the most money,in this economy you should hook up with him chances are you will never have to work a day in your life.
MustangFilly77 9
Hey, give the guy a chance! I'm sure he'll be very nice to you, considering that you're his "ideal" mate, and anyway, brainy people like that usually go places in life, big places, and wouldn't you like to tag along? Know what I'm saying? Give it a chance...
4d3l31d3 0
I hope you realize that you're an incredibly shallow person. Why would you fathom the idea that an intelligent person wouldn't be able to be an adequate partner? I hope you one day realize that beauty is so much than skin deep. Also, don't end a sentence in a preposition.
ryancolly 2
Oh, in another way, he is saying that you are the most wonderful girl in the school ;]
shamrawker 1
The 1980s called. It wants its movie plot line back.
itstesshomo 2
hah fyl alright
brandiea 0
Why is this an fml?
blondie8595 1
Yayyyyy my fml actually got posted haha. I didn't have an account yet so I just put my username as geeklove since it went along with the story. But I know what everyone means about the whole "you'll regret not dating a nerd thing," but I didn't have enough room to say that after I thanked him, he said "you have a lovely set of attributes below your head," which apparently means "I have lovely breasts." yikes. Kinda creepy coming from a stranger dont you think?
HandsomeRatch 20
I hope he doesn't bother you anymore (or at least doesn't leave creepy messages anymore). Sorry that everyone is calling you shallow, OP.
JayNYcee 3
why make it sound all creepy?
blondie8595 1
And I didn't mean to come across that I'm not dating him because of his social status. The Facebook message he sent me and the fact that I'm simply not attracted to him is why I would prefer not to date him. I don't mind being friends with him. Also, I shouldn't date a guy just because he will be rich in the future...that's shallow.