Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying, "I want my cat back." I have no idea what they are talking about. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon." FML
Today, I left my apartment window open for some fresh air. When I returned, my idiot cat was on the balcony staring at me... from my neighbor’s apartment. FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
Pelreskovich 11
Go find a cat and give them their damn cat back!
daisyismydog 3
A simple knock on the door would suffice...
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Comments (130)
Pelreskovich 11
Go find a cat and give them their damn cat back!
GovernorGeneral 8
Least the note didnt say 'want a window repair? Call blah blah blah' Haha. Saw that in i think it was a simpsons episode. xD
theten_fml 9
Hmmm did you pop a girls cherry recently? Think hard. Real hard.
Miss_Kristen 10
^Nah
Screwie 25
MEEEEEOOOWWWWVIRGINITYYYYBACKKKWW... That's how you'd relate those without directly using the word pussy.
BarDownDaily 12
I think that they are talking about a missing cat...
LookOnBrightSide 12
Maybe OP stole Mike Tyson's tiger when you were drunk. This FML makes me reminisce about The Hangover. Hope OP doesn't get the living daylights punched out like Alan.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
No, it was for a walrus. A magical walrus with a unicorn horn. They were talking about a magical walrus with a unicorn horn. Get it right 42. Gosh.
kyarush 10
Lies! Return the cat!
Jonkbaby 23
how does window even get drunk. I mean, weird
BeachBoi_Alex 7
I have to admit, if I thought someone had stolen my gorgeous cat, I would do worse..
Jonkbaby 23
steal someone elses cat?
aceman1992 9
47- Can I have some of that shit you're smokin on?
KRS_13 0
#46 OP should hurry and find a cat to give back before Op is soon wakes up in a ditch in another state! Or clarify to the people who did that, that Op doesnt have their cat.
skylersilcon 3
So you are the weird cat lady that lives around the corner from me. You still have 8 lives left. Don't worry.
njgohard 16
...and i'm the ******* walrus.
emilyraenewman 13
"Dude where's my car?"
emilyraenewman 13
Clearly I'm stupid. I read this before as car, yet now I realize it said cat instead..
cannibletaco 6
Was the note attached to a rock with tape?
alaskababy907 11
One day I want to throw a rock at someone with a note taped to it just so I can say I did. ^-^
DrMime 10
Well obviously you've angered a confused cat lady! Maybe you should make amends by satisfying her pussy so that she'll let you keep her other one.
ClassyCommando 13
He's climbin' in yo' windows, he's snatchin' yo' kittens up.
farnsworth 3
I once threw a rock at someone with a note that said watch out a rock is coming after this note.
swoozie23 6
Seems so cliche but still very funny
TexasMud 8
Hide ya cats Hide ya kittens
GoWithTheFro 10
Awww...people are idiots, I'm sorry OP :/
xSonic 9
....seriously, why are people thumbing this comment down?
GoW_Chick 15
... because they're idiots. Didn't we go through this in first comment?
xSonic 9
Touché
JayJayAttackAtta 5
I thumbed up just cuz his pic was Pikachu
drotte 0
Would it be weird to say that I stole his cat? Don't bother sending the check, I won't pay for the window.
cosmosis 12
Not weird at all... Just idiotic! And what would you be checking??
backinstolaf 2
I LOL'd.
Chad_the_Brony 0
Considering you wrote cheque as in 'Check your spelling', I dot think you're the intended cat napper. Nice try.
abbyhoneywaffles 11
81- Why do you have to be a good speller in order to steal a cat? & I'm pretty sure 'check' or 'cheque' can be used.
marinus_fml 20
84, because OP is from Australia where it's spelled 'cheque'
drotte 0
Yeah, I'm from America, we spell it check. But honestly, I think cheque makes more sense.
GVirdi 11
81 just to let u know, if you're going to correct somebody, you should atleast spell don't right...
docscientist 10
104 - how does it make more sense? I doubt you had a nagging sense of thinking that 'check' just doesn't seem to be spelled correctly before you saw other people spell it as 'cheque'.
daisyismydog 3
A simple knock on the door would suffice...
XxHoPPoxX 8
"those who have have not catnapped may cast the first stone"
yahoowizard 16
Not close at all on the badass meter. And we don't get an interesting FML out of it
DinoAri 9
Okay, so. Get the fingerprints off the note and sue them for a new window!
XxHoPPoxX 8
Yea cause every one has their fingerprints on file
cosmosis 12
You watch too much csi...
Jonkbaby 23
sue fingerprints? this is crazy
Mannie27 0
Whats not to understand?! They want your pussy
THE_A_TEEN 28
Give her C-4 molded into a cat shape, then detonate it from far away. Enjoy...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Shit, that wasn't meant as a reply, sorry.
HiddenMonkey 8
How does the person get a thumbs down for using the term pussy correctly? Is the FML society that dumb, that when we say words in proper terms it's wrong? Flame me if you want but it's apparently true.
MatthewDmerrill 5
Hire a security guard or stay home and wait for them
Taysia_Elice 6
Was it a black cat with a black back pack full of fireworks that was going to burn the city down right now? I should probably stop comparing song lyrics to real life situations.. Thumbs down here we go.
ToasterStrudelz 4
Thumbed into oblivion?
lolmikes 7
Up vote
SmelloJello 9
Someone's a dumbass.