Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML
Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy, and unfriended me from Facebook. FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a guy from my old school. I didn’t remember him, but I replied anyway. When I checked my phone after work, I had 73 new messages that went from, “How have you been?” to, “Fuck you ugly cockteasing whore,” and ended with, “You better hope I don’t catch you!” FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, I got a Facebook friend request from an ex-schoolmate from my high school. He was the same piece of shit who used to bully me at the time. He's now a psychologist. I guess my life was meant to be bollocks. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML
Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
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Top comments
Sweetheart34 2
be flattered! at least you have someone. he might be your boss some day...
Pelreskovich 11
That's an honor. Nerds united!
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Comments (478)
newburton13 26
Well, if he tries to make you his "mate", tell him to shove it up his ass. Otherwise, just tell him he's not your ideal mate. Nerds have more power than you think.
Aking2198 0
hey if you get married to him your golden
exil5 2
Congratulations! We needs are quite picky about the best potential mate for ourselves.
jonnyBgoode 9
Marry him, then one day you could be HIS boss.
Jrecs 0
I bet you she's fat :)
BVBARMY1238 9
Awwwww!
Miki101 18
Something similar happened to a friend of mine. He was a nice enough guy, so I convinced her to go on at least one date with him. Tomorrow I'm going to be the Maid of Honor in their wedding.
Euronymous93 29
Give him a chance. Think of 'The Princess and the Frog.' She didn't think the frog was a good match for her, but he ended up being perfect. I'm sorry this sounds totally cheesy. But I hope you get my point.
JordanDempsey 20
If your school is anything like my school... That would be an intense honor. I can't even... And no, I didn't go to a private school
DivinePrince 18
You should be honoured, your future boss considers you worthy enough. It's the smart people who are the most successful. You will be licking their shoes clean in the future.