Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, at the museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
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Top comments
torbey 23
Has nobody ever touched your boobs before?
Pleonasm 36
You were probably in a tit of laughter by the end of it! I know I probooby shouldn't, but I found this hilarious, OP. I mean, it's better than feeling a little nip, right?
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Comments (61)
Joshwarrior 39
you know when i started reading this i thought that you were going to get a bad diagnoses so hey it could be much worse. i honestly just think its really funny, and much better than my dislike of needles.. if only they tickled.
daydreamer244 13
lol I feel ya...I'm ticklish EVERYWHERE. I can't wait for one if those breast exams....that won't be awkward at all...
olpally 33
Giggity. :D haha. Too funny op. hopefully you're able to settle down.
olpally 33
NO. Don't tell me what to do. Giggity. Nice try, Internet police. Good luck stopping me! Giggity Giggity goo! Alright! :D
mrdinofly 6
It's like playing tickle me Elmo! Oh, wait....
rg350dx 29
You touched Elmo's ****? You monster!
\ 28
#21 your profile pic gibes perfectly with your comment :)
buckdharma 38
Every time they touch your ta-tas, you get the ha-has.
JDCH_99 10
Hmmm . . . I doubt you will find a colonoscopy nearly as pleasant.
oxygenius 14
'jerking away' doesn't seem like an appropriate phrase to use here...
chowE_fml 4
If OP was one of those transgender types, aka "chick-with-dick" the line about her instinctively jerking would have been more of an FML
ShakeDisPlace 10
attack of the boobie tickler ! :D
ChamboMango 5
You must be terrible in bed. Sorry OP.