Today, during foreplay, my husband asked if I found him sexually attractive. When I asked him back, after a yes, he was silent for two minutes then went into a ten-minute philosophical discussion on the nature of attractiveness. He would find me more attractive if I wasn't his wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm going through a long dry spell, so I asked my ex-wife and the last woman I was intimate with how they were physically attracted to me. They started listing things like financial stability, trustworthy, safe and nice to talk to. I just wanted to be called handsome. FML
Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I was doubting my boyfriend's feelings for me, so I asked him if he found me attractive. He replied, "Well, you're thin enough…" That's all. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML
Today, I'm 55 and I've been with my 61 year-old hubs for 32 years. He has next to no sex drive. When I asked him to tell me what is attractive about me, he said I'm nice, witty, easy to talk to. I asked what physically is attractive about me. He said, "You're not gross and you're not obese." He then got mad at me when I started crying. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
"You'd be more attractive if you weren't my wife." "I'm sorry?" "All I'm saying is, right now, it's sort of like I'm married to my sister. Obviously, you're not as sexy as she is, and since you're really my wife, it's not really taboo. That reminds me, I gotta call my sister when we're done."
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Nah man don't drag me into this.
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Comments (15)
marisbiscuit 21
MEN... ^_^
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Nah man don't drag me into this.
RichardPencil 32
So, did that kill the mood or make the eventual sex even hotter? Don’t laugh — nerd sex is the hottest!
BurnInDemonFire 39
"You'd be more attractive if you weren't my wife." "I'm sorry?" "All I'm saying is, right now, it's sort of like I'm married to my sister. Obviously, you're not as sexy as she is, and since you're really my wife, it's not really taboo. That reminds me, I gotta call my sister when we're done."
bl3ur0z3 17
Seems like a problem that can be solved.
lj19717 19
Good thing love isn’t all about physical attraction and if the two of you really love each other you would make things work even if you weren’t all that attracted to each other at all
BurnInDemonFire 39
There's always going to be a level of physical attraction in a romantic relationship. It's usually the main reason people get together, then they fall in love once they start communicating, and bonding. If you don't find someone attractive, but like them for who they are, that's called friendship. Don't forget, many people consider a good sex life to be an important component in a successful relationship, and nobody wants to make the Beast with Two Backs with an actual beast. Except for a few who are sick in the head.
RichardPencil 32
He’s too stupid. This is one case where lying is the best policy. He should have just said yes and move on with the sex.
mas12806 24
“Don’t lie to your wife”
RichardPencil 32
Except if she asks "Do these pants make my butt look fat?" or "Do you think my sister is prettier than me?"
JasonThorn 23
"Do I look fat?" "...Do I look stupid?"
0neiros 14
Here are the proper answers since you are ****** either way. If you are going to be in the doghouse, at least let it be for a reason. Do these pants/dress make my butt look fat? No more than usual. Do you think my Sister is prettier? Only on the outside/
Chen Zhibang 8
Angry sex is the best sex. Did you go totally ballistic?
0neiros 14
Oh, you'd love "Rodeo Sex" That's where you enter your wife from behind, reach around, grab her breasts, then say "Gee your sisters are MUCH firmer. Then hang on for dear life.
chosha_fml 27
Sounds like some roleplay as strangers might be in your future.