Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, my husband still hadn't gotten me anything for Christmas, so I bought and wrapped my own presents. Then I had my husband write 'to me, from him' on them so that I won't be embarrassed in front of my family on Christmas when it comes time to open presents. FML
Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML
Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML
Today, my husband came home with a Christmas gift from a coworker. It's the same thing I got him. FML
Today, just like every other celebratory day (like my anniversary or birthday) I ordered my own Christmas present. My husband doesn't get it. I tried to explain. He openly admits he has no idea what I like and has no interest in learning, but wants me to have something to open so he won't look bad. FML
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LeeRed 15
Well I won't call lingerie a present, its more like gift wrapping paper. hehe
HowieDoIt 21
He's an angry elf!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
gary3768 13
Some men are so slow lol
Silent_Thrill 17
Hey, it's hard to think straight when all the blood is flowing away from your brain!
ThePK 5
I don't know guys, a Santa themed outfit seems weird. I mean, I like my women...well, like women, not like an old white haired chubby man....of course, this must just be me.
Pyapi 20
So you're never seen slutty female santa costumes? Or other slutty santa related items? I'm no fan but, especially during this time of year, they're everywhere you can't miss them
crazyrn 6
44- You missed the sarcasm in his reply.
cidman420 5
is he gay... whenever my wife walk in the room in lingerie (new or old) I get existed not yell at her
simoncat 11
Well Scrooge him. What a grouch. Nothing in his stocking but coal. Is he always such a grump?
perdix 31
Who doesn't like a little Ho, Ho, Ho for Christmas? You'd better hide the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Vibrator because he's going to be even less convinced that is for him at all.
nycwrestler 17
I love you.
journeytotheend 16
Best present ever
Enslaved 38
Put some mistletoe down your undies and tell him to kiss your ass!
False_Stupidity 42
This made me laugh so hard, although mistletoe in the undies sounds a bit uncomfortable :)
lesserofallevils 9
She should have gotten him a Santa beard and told him to man up
miss_sqwert 19
Ydi seriously
tonnie_soms 5
Pictures please!