Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Backhanded
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Chubby Love, by Bon Iver
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Multitasking
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Humblebrag
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML
Let down
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML
Top comments
Alliria 3
Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?
bgo7 0
if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha
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Comments (572)
lovelydrop 0
maybe u should get a smaller cell phone so his johnson doesnt seem so small xD
BrokenDreamer24 15
152- Your a ******* ass. How is she a ****? Her man is small in his manhood, and she feels awkward about it. She isn't a ****, and I'll bet your is smaller.
sugardady11 0
and! your phone vibrates!!!!
raff696 3
how long is his tongue? ;)
Daniel_DD32 3
how old is this person
loserbro 0
It wouldn't be a problem if this was true love, but this world is so focused on image, perfection and greed this really doesn't surprise me that a person can be this shallow. Have you stopped to think how he feels? Do you think he wanted that? Quit being selfish and think about others next time. Here's hoping that 2012 comes soon, see you all in hell.
18bgc2011 0
Bahahahaha!!!!!!!
Oreogasm 5
time to visit the sex shop and buy some vibrators, a hitachi and a sybian
karmacharger 0
if u love him it doesent matter u *****
icanhazblivions 1
amen to that!!! I understand that you're a little disappointed. hopefully he can make up for it in other ways. :/ all these people calling you a **** need to take some kind of gender studies course.