Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a note from my son's kindergarten teacher. During free time yesterday, he told her, "Mommy was stripping". I was indeed stripping. Paint that is. FML
Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I saw my former high school teacher at the mall. After a nice conversation, she mentioned that I "still dress like a slut." FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Wow, sure they weren't just disappointed with your boring career and said you were a stripper to liven it up? It was my privilege to be first on your FML.
tenkenshi 2
I don't see a gender listed. This FML would be a bit funnier if OP was a man.
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Comments (80)
aziatic 0
It's probably better that they think you're a stripper than
mischiefkel 17
Then*
BillyBoot 0
FAKE. I always, always see these sort of FMLs. "Today, I realized my sons been telling his class about my gay partner. Its my work partner who happens to be gay" And theres soo many more like it. It pisses me off when people make fake ones that are so easily noted as fake, but yet they still get on the website.
genius_man16 1
And how is this fake? So kids never misunderstand adults when they say something? You clearly have never been around children before, so just STFU and GTFO.
letitbe56 0
It's not necessarily fake, but the moderators shouldn't be letting them through. You are instructed, as a moderator, to say no if a similar one is already on the site. There was another one that was based on the confusion between prostitute and prosecutor. Changing the job doesn't make them different enough to keep being funny.
genius_man16 1
Actually your beef should be with the FML staff. They are the ones who get the final say in which FML's get through, so they are dropping the ball if there are similar FML's.
killdozer1 2
One of the rules of the commenting section is no comments questioning the validity or authenticity of a FML, or claiming it is not worthy of the status.
Ryuu66 7
 does everyone want the FMLs to be ******* depressing? if their funny who cares you people are making a big deal out of nothing
dayrin7 4
okay...boring.
sublime93 0
I agree with #21
navygirl8909 0
Ok my question is why do these teachers believe the kids? They kid could have one mis spoken and said something they didnt mean/understand. Or they could have been lieing to embarass their parent. Or they could be lieing because they think that job is cool for whatever reason so they tell people that, that's their parents jobe to make them seem cooler. Seriously I just don't understand why you would believe it when a 5 year old says "My mommy's a stripper!"
Emma_91 0
Or the little kid could have overheard the parents talking about the mom's job as a stripper, and the kid could've repeated it in class. Teachers really should take these comments with a grain of salt but as far as the teacher knows it could be true.
navygirl8909 0
Maybe. . . but I would never believe a 5 year old when they say something like that because more than likely they heard wrong. What kind of stripper has kids? If a stripper does have kids I feel sorry for them.
Emma_91 0
Yeah that would suck. But it would be possible...like I said, it would definitely be doubtful. On another note, what's wrong with being a stripper? If the woman likes it and lives off it, then why shouldn't she get to do what she wants?
letitbe56 0
I'm getting really sick of the "My kid told his teacher I'm an ___ but really I'm a ___!" FMLs. Stripper vs Strip mall isn't a very humorous variant at all. The moderators are instructed not to click yes for FML's if a similar one already is posted. If it's not funnier than the one already there, just say no to it, guys!
CFR 0
He's actually wondering if he's seen you somewhere... Unless she's a woman, then that totally ruins it.
letitbe56 0
There are women who visit strip clubs. If she does it in secret and is afraid maybe the OP saw her, I think that actually makes it even better!
fxdxhk90 0
Relax, some people are uptight prudes. The fact is that strippers ( hot ones anyway) can rake in hundreds of dollars a night. The people that consider it undignified should realize that strippers probably make way more money then they do. Anyhow, use her misconception to have some fun. For instance, walk in with 8 inch high heels, and watch her reaction.
JohnyJackhammer 0
HAha, that's HILARIOUS. I wouldn't sweat it so much in your shoes. Maybe as a joke you should go pick your child up on several days wearing different seductive costumes (Maid, Policewoman, Schoolgirl, etc.) haha I'd totally do it