Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML
Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
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Top comments
Cheeley 17
Hey, if someone kept squishing you against someone's back in the shower, I bet you'd bite them too.
Wizzlbang 10
Earwigs don't bite, OP. Even their pinchers wont leave any sort of characteristic bug bite. Sounds like you got more than Earwigs in your loofas lurking about your house.
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Comments (107)
worldclassrager 41
Time to invest in a new one unless the earwig is now gone still get a new one due to the fact of larvae...the positive side is that It didn't get into your ear while washing your face...
bimbim_fml 6
From what I know earwigs don't bite. On the unrelated story, one day I woke up with an earwig in my mouth. I don't remember how long I washed my mouth and how much hot tea I drank to get rid of the "dirty" feeling, but it was a lot ;)
samkit 14
fdgdgdg
MuppetMerkin 10
Yeah so adding to earlier posts, earwigs don't have the capacity to harm humans. Probably in your best interest to look these things up before you post something on the Internet.
finch01 18
don't keep it on the floor you wouldn't have bugs in it
VeganVampyre 27
Most bugs are pretty good at climbing or flying to reach higher up places... They are very rarely limited to the floor. Nice try, though.
samkit 14
jyhjjfj
DanqGirlxoxo 13
You don't look at your looha before using it ? It's definitly one of my bad habits ! So YDI & FYL since it's probably what you didn't normally do , but NOW you know. Earwigs are disgusting I can't imagine how grossed out you are ! Ughk.
MysticMonkey 9
So it didn't crawl into your ear as you slept?
starlita_fml 15
oh, thanks for sharing. who needs sleep anyway
TogeBara 12
Earwigs only climb in the ear to find a safe place to lay eggs. If it isn't the season for them to mate, they won't do that. They need a warm tunnel like place to live in and that is exactly like an ear. Wash your sheets in HOT water and tumble dry them on perm press. This will kill the little buggers and your sheets will be good as new :3