Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
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Top comments
Masochistic 0
What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?
skyeyez9 25
drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.
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Comments (455)
Warslutt 0
that's f'd up haha
weavernate 0
you are so lucky
ZeroCharisma 0
Your revenge is simple. Shave your pubes entirely and keep them until you have the opportunity to make him a sandwich one day. Place pubes in sandwich, making sure they are hidden, and sit back while your boyfriend gets a mouth full of crotch hair. Then break up with him. Any person who would do that to you is a jerk and obviously doesn't really care about you. That is extremely disrespectful and gross. Return the favor.
luigi23_fml 0
you all overreact thats kinda funny. anyway people do random shit at 2 am. everything wicked funny
iloveyouindy 0
what the hell
mtc4ever 0
dump him. who does that?
kattt20001 0
You couldn't make this up! Finally an otiginal person
CTosh 0
Eew, WTF!?
UrbanJelly 0
your fault for dating a douche
RubyRedd 0
LMMFAOOO.!!! Who Does Tht.???