Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Masochistic 0
What kind of twisted ritual is that? What compelled him to think that up?
skyeyez9 25
drink lots of prune juice, then fart in his mouth when he's in a deep sleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (455)
r_max 0
Why not offer to make him some sandwiches for lunch next tim?. You can make him your "brazillian special" :P
ZeroCharisma 0
Yes!! That was exactly what I said before I read your comment. Great minds think alike. =)
Krazy_KillaKlown 0
Gives me ideas.
cmac86 24
I can't decide what's weirder, pulling his puberty hair out or putting it in your mouth while sleeping. I would stay away from him. something is wrong.
AnGhElLiC 0
That has to be one of the sickest things I have yet to read on FML. I would of said see u later right then..sick a**!!!
MysteryMan808 0
that's what happens when u date a douche
Marzydotes 0
awww thats just wanting you to be involved..its his way of saying I love you even when ur sleeping :)
AxCxDxDx 0
I don't get it, what's the problem?
helo2 0
lmfao
wombats_fml 9
Eww. Dump his ass.
aliamak 4
and you still call him your boyfriend?