Today, I found out that my son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me, but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

Wild child

Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

Nice day for it

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML