Today, I read a message from someone on Instagram asking if I wanted to "hook up with a nice guy sometime." It was my uncle – he doesn't recognize his own family before messaging them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML
Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle said, "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my matchmaker is my uncle. FML
Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML
Today, I randomly hooked up with a hot guy, just to ruin it by saying he’s like my twin brother, and now he won’t reply to my messages. FML
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML
Today, I received a new like on a dating site… from my extremely creepy second cousin. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
Or maybe he DOES recognize his own family....which would be way worse.
Aarron Gravlee 2
thats ****** gold. I bout spit my drink out
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
I take it he's not attractive. Otherwise, you'd be getting busy getting into his will.
Aarron Gravlee 2
thats ****** gold. I bout spit my drink out
tounces7 28
Or maybe he DOES recognize his own family....which would be way worse.
Anzubar 5
It could be worse, he could have mistaken you for one of your cousins.
Decipherme 11
Oh the more awkward thought is - that he did 😳