Today, I found out that my girlfriend is actually a man. Not a transgender person, I'm okay with that, but an actual gay man who gets a kick out of pranking other guys. FML

Pansexuality awaits you

Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML

Bizarre Love Triangle

Today, I found out that one of my best friends likes the girl that I like. What's funny is that my best friend is also a girl, and has a better chance with her than I do. FML

Bittersweet

Today, I, a woman, realized that only women find me attractive, which is fine, except that I'm straight. FML

I Want the One I Can't Have

Today, I found out that the very attractive guy who lives in the house behind mine is working from home. I know this because he waved after catching my performance of singing along to a Smiths song into my hairbrush in front of the mirror, dancing around like a five-year-old. FML

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

Today, while I was at the gym, I saw a guy walk into the girls locker room. I was walking nearby so I said, "Hey man, that's the wrong one." Turns out it was just a very masculine-looking woman, with a very masculine haircut. FML

Bad romance

Today, a guy I’ve been dating for a while surprised me with tickets to see my favorite singer, Lady Gaga, for my birthday. I was about to tell him I can’t see him anymore because I fell for someone else at work, and it wouldn’t be fair to string him along. FML

Most good songs are

Today, I discovered that one of my favourite, relatable sad songs is actually a song about gay sex. FML

I'm happy for you, but…

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML