Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend always has sex with me like he hates me. Turns out, he actually hates me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
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Top comments
jessieluvxo 9
That blows.
thawny_fml 21
Weird. I could've sworn that a little prick would deflate a blow up doll.
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Comments (105)
jessieluvxo 9
That blows.
xxughmylifexx 15
You deserve every thumbs up
jessieluvxo 9
Haha thank you!
Bragi 12
1: +1000
docphilsman 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
get yourself one ? maybe he'll be jealous
DFMLharsh 20
No. Just no. Lets not blow things out of proportion.
flufee2 27
why would he even own one wth
HoboMeth 36
How about showing him your vibrator?
leogachi 15
Maybe she doesn't have one? It's time to invest in one, though.
brookiee527 13
I'm sorry op.
thawny_fml 21
Weird. I could've sworn that a little prick would deflate a blow up doll.
shay_serendipity 29
This comment is golden. Bravo
Dark_Zekrom 21
Though I bet it's not the only thing that's little.
bingalingading 12
#5 you ruined it.
Welshite 40
His name is Lars isn't it. Dolls have feelings too, you know.
Enslaved 38
I remember watching this old 80's movie call "River's Edge" that had a bunch of up coming stars. Dennis Hopper's character was in love with a blow up doll and treated her/it like an actual person. Had her because she didn't talk back.
MrConcise 35
A more modern example is "Frank". One of the supporting characters was into mannequins.
riffehunter 16
no one caught this guys I am legend reference?
jmigs17 19
Lucky for you, you're a girl. This problem of yours can be easily fixed.
Welshite 40
Excellent idea. They /do/ have male blow-up dolls available. I named mine Richard.
ProbablyHuman666 10
I'm sorry to tell you this, but he prefers Dick.
jmigs17 19
Lol male blow up dolls. I just meant any any guy would appreciate any girl of they just kick it up a notch. If that doesn't work your guy has the issue
Mauskau 36
And you think sex is satisfying every time for us? lmao. Even if it's not so great or we don't get near finishing, we'll finish you off because it's a nice feeling.
nitrog100 21
I don't know why people are giving your comment a thumbs down. A girl gets to just sit back and sort through the guys who are interested.
Sillsallad 15
She has a boyfriend, she wants to sleep with him- not just any random guy
OysterPearls 33
Communication rules a nation, maybe it's time to switch it up!
MDoremis 38
Maybe propose spicing things up to change his mind?
Welshite 40
Cinnamon or paprika should do the trick.
nonsensical 26
jalapeños
FkMySugar 19
Exactly... Put some hot sauce in every hole on the doll.
thatguynamedsky 32
thatd burnnn
Zebediabolical 45
There's actually a kink for people who like to put things like hot peppers in their buttholes. It's called 'figging' after an old technique to make old horses look young and energetic.
MDoremis 38
#33, so does having a doll chosen over you.
Firecubitch 5
@42: I was gonna ask why you know that, but then I saw your pic.
SydLovesLacey 18
Quite the profile there.. I like it.
zenrael 21
I think it's time to find a real man